Harry Potter and the Unexpected Arrival
by QueenBee11
Summary: It is the year 1983 and the Marauders are enjoying their last year as Hogwarts. But when two mysterious strangers turn up in the middle of a storm, who are they and what do they want? TIMETRAVEL! HHr
1. An Unexpected Arrival

**Harry Potter and the Unexpected Arrival**

(this is my very first Fan Fiction and I'm really rather attached to the story line so be kind, but I am VERY open to constructive criticism. For reasoning on my choice of dates, please see the bottom note)

* * *

It was the 1st of September 1983 and the students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry were siting in their respective house tables awaiting the start of the feast. The 1st years had been sorted and Dumbledore was just preparing up to deliver his customary start of year speech. He stood up and tapped the side of his goblet to call for silence, even though it was totally unnecessary, for as he had moved to his feet, every head had turned in his direction and every conversation had ceased.

This was a Dumbledore in his prime. He was the most respected wizard in the world, and had a number of titles to his name. He was still commanding respect for defeating the great Grindelwald many years prior, and was currently the only thing standing between the few hundred students before him and Lord Voldemort.

He surveyed the students before him for a short time and then said in a booming voice that echoed through the entire of the great hall, "Yo tengo un gato en mis pantalones!"

Most of the students were confused, except for those that spoke Spanish and most of the teachers exchanged significant looks, as though sharing in a private joke.

Dumbledore sat down looking entirely satisfied with his speech and slowly the students began to overcome their confusion and tucked in to the delicious feast, which had appeared before them.

Over at the Gryffindor table a most conspicuous conversation was taking place between four of the best of friends.

* * *

"So when the Slytherins walk into the hall they'll all be magnetised to Snape and won't be able to get off him until they say the password!" Sirius Black said, looking around at his friends for their approval. 

"I like it in general Padfoot," said the smartest of the lot, Remus Lupin "but it is lacking."

"And what about the password? Because if you haven't got any ideas I've just thought of some beauties!" exclaimed a over excited Peter Pettigrew

"Beauties?" questioned his companions

"I spent the Summer in Australia with my Mum remember guys?" (GO AUSTRALIA)

They all apologised but sent each other worried looks when his back was turned.

"So anyway back to Padfoot's _fabulous _plan," James Potter got them all back on track. "I was thinking for the password of something like, "I love Gryffindor" or "Slytherin Sucks""

"Nah," said Sirius "it's been done. We need something origional. Something new and fresh and exciting!"

"Woah! Calm down there buddy," said Remus worriedly, for Sirius was nearly getting as excited as Peter. "But seriously guys, I don't know that this prank is big enough. This is our first one of the year and it needs to go off with a bang."

Three of the Marauders all nodded their agreement

"But guys," wined Sirius "what's bigger than a giant ball of Slytherins all declaring that they love Gryffindor?"

"How about," said Remus slowly, and they all turned to look at him because when he had a good prank, he really had a good prank! "a giant ball of Slytherins…"

"Yes…" they all prompted

"rolling around…"

"Yes…'

"in…"

"YES!"

"red and gold paint…"

"YYYYYYEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!"

"and then bouncing around the Great Hall!"

By this stage the marauders were nearly crying with the sheer brilliancy of Moony's idea. Peter even went as far as to kiss Remus's feet but that attracted some weird looks from fellow Gryffindors so thankfully he stopped.

* * *

The Marauders were in 7th year and determined to make the most it. They were still only children, just turned 17, but they were well aware that after Hogwarts a dark and difficult future awaited them. They wanted to help get rid of Voldemort and protect their families, but while they were at Hogwarts this final time, they intended on receiving as many detentions as possible and generally causing mayhem all the time. 

James Potter (or Prongs among his friends) was the unspoken leader of the group. James had as very good grades, the second best after Moony and was the captain and chaser of the Gryffindor quidditch team. He was tall and handsome, with messy jet-black hair and gorgeous brown eyes that girls often found themselves lost in. However there was only one girl he wanted and she made sure to stay as far away from him as possible. Lily Evans, a pretty red head muggle-born who had been the object of James's desire since 3rd year, when girls stopped being yucky and started looking pretty attractive. Unfortunately she had rejected his every advance and though he was far from giving up, people were beginning to ridicule his rejection.

His second in command was one Sirius Black a.k.a Padfoot. He was equal with James in nearly everything. They were like brothers. They took all the same classes, received the same marks, had the same taste and had even been compared in looks. Sirius had the same colour hair as James but cut it longer and it was smoother and more straight than his best friend's. His eyes were the trademark black family grey colour and he was built slightly larger than James.

The third member of the marauders was Remus Lupin, affectionately named Moony. He was by far the brightest of the group, always bringing home the best results and a constant favourite amongst the Hogwarts staff. He was shorter, but by no means a midget and had pale blue eyes and mousy brown hair that he kept in a elegant, neat crop. He was the brains of the operation and more often than not, the voice of reason too.

The fourth and by all means least was Peter Pettigrew (Wormtail). He was weak of character and clung to his more important friends as a means of security. He had light brown hair that was very thin and wispy and pale watery eyes.

* * *

Having settled on all the details of the prank (it was to take place at breakfast on the morning after next), James decided to move onto his next objective for the year. 

"Hey Lils!" he shouted across Sirius on his right to Lily Evans who sat a few places down.

"No I will not go out with you Potter," she replied in a bored tone

"But Lily, love of my life, brightest star in the night sky and cleverest witch at Hogwarts, I do so desire your company at Hogsmeade on the next weekend trip."

Lily's best friend Rhea answered for her though, "Of course she'll come! But on one condition James Potter."

"Ah, name your price."

"Because there are four of you, she gets to bring 3 friends."

James was reluctant, but Sirius, who had recently been eyeing off Rhea readily agreed.

There was then an awkward pause. Both parties sneaking looks at the other while they thought they wouldn't notice.

Lily would have said yes if Rhea hadn't interrupted her. She would never admit it to anyone, least of all James Potter, but he was growing on her. Not that she was going to go out with him. Unless he would stop being so childish and start behaving like a man, she could put her own feelings at bay. She didn't want to get hurt by him.

The pause continued and James decided he better say _something. _

"Funny weather we're having," oh good work Potter. Comment on the weather. That'll make her like you.

Lily, taking pity on him agreed, "I know. This storm is enormous, and it just blew up out of nowhere. Kinda scary huh?"

The pause started again. All around them other groups were talking loudly and eating dinner.

Sirius opened his mouth to ask for the mashed potato and got as far as, "Can I plea-" , before the doors to the Great Hall banged open violently and 2 hooded figures stepped in. Silence fell across the hall and staff and students alike stared in horror at these very imposing figures that had made it so easily into the school without permission.

* * *

So how was that? I can't believe it my first ever fanfiction chapter.

I chose the year 1983 because I figured that this year is 2006 and Harry is 19 in this story so 2006 take 19 and then Lily and James would have had him when they were about 4 years out of school. So that makes 1983.

Please please please please please review!

Love Bee


	2. The Strangers

Omg thank you so much to all my reviewers a.k.a ohmygawsh and QueenCate, your opinions were highly valued. I've had 42 hits in the 1st couple of hours. I never thought that was possible. I'm so excited. Thank you SO much you have made my day. Here we go, chapter 2!

* * *

They were both wearing all black and had the hoods of their cloaks pulled down so that no one could see their faces. One was very tall, muscular and clearly masculine and the other was smaller and curvy and obviously a woman.

They walked slowly and with purpose between the Griffindor table and the Ravenclaw table. They seemed to be making their way up towards the head table to where Dumbledore was sitting.

Dumbledore stook quickly to his feet pulled out his wand and pointed it at the man and the woman. "Death eaters are not welcome at Hogwarts. You should leave here immediately before some one gets hurt," he said in his most menacing and serious voice.

The 2 strangers glanced at each other, but it was impossible to see what they were communicating beneath their damned black hoods. After a time the man spoke, "We are no death eaters." And both pulled back their sleeves on their left arms to reveal arms free of the dark mark

"We oppose the reign of Lord Voldemort. How dare you insult us by saying that we follow him!" said the woman.

The hall shook with the force of her words. She had said the Dark Lords name! Everyone was in a shocked silence. If these people weren't deatheaters, who were they? Dumbledore's steady gaze faltered and the students continued to look back and forth between him and the other two.

"Who are you?" asked Dumbledore, clearly confused.

"We do not work for Voldemort and we do not wish harm to anyone in this hall," said the man.

"Then you will remove your hoods and tell us your names," came the brisk voice of Professor McGonagall.

"I'm afraid we can't do that," said the woman slowly and deadly.

A ripple of fear ran through the students.

Dumbledore was fed up. No one could come to his school disobey his orders and put his students in potential danger. He reached out with his mind to touch the smaller figure's mind. He instantly recoiled. A brick wall that no one could penetrate without her permission surrounded her mind. Her head snapped towards his and she looked deep into his eyes.

Still determined he tried his luck with the other intruder. His mind was even better fortified, there was no way in hell anyone could successfully perform Legilimency on him without his permission. It was like an iron wall surrounding his mind. As with his companion, his head snapped towards Dumbledore and he very slowly shook his head back and forth.

There was more threat in this small movement than anything else that the couple had done so far.

"We wish to gain your trust Dumbledore," spoke the man. "But you do not want to risk losing ours. However we will overlook this little…discrepancy and comply with one of your requests."

The couple shared another communicative glance and both moved their hands up to their faces. Dumbledore tensed and pointed his wand at them more firmly but they continued and pulled their cloaks off. They fell to the ground and pooled at their feet.

The school gasped. The couple were…gorgeous. They were like nothing they had ever seen before.

The man was pale with messy black hair, green eyes and a lightening bolt shaped scar on his head. He looked strangely familiar. The man commanded everyone's attention. He was proud and it was easy to see that he was used to being listened to.

The woman was no less beautiful. She had honey brown coloured hair and it fell in loose ringlets down her back. She had large dark brown eyes and flawless sun-kissed skin. She looked dark and dangerous, yet deceptively so. It would be easy to underestimate her…at your own peril.

"Our names are Harry Potter and Hermione Granger and we come to you with a proposition."

"I think we have sufficiently proved that we are not here on Voldemorts orders. We think that we can be of service to you…and your students."

"What is your idea?" said Dumbledore sceptically

"All is explained by the one who sent us, in this letter," Harry reached into his robes and produced a wax sealed letter. "We would ask you to keep the contents of this letter private and upon reading it I think you will agree that this is necessary." He walked up to the head table and handed the letter to Dumbledore then turned and headed back to Hermione.

Dumbledore read the letter quickly and the emotions that passed over his face were quite amusing to the duo, who knew exactly what the letter said.

It explained that they were from 23 years in the future, that they were fully trained aurors also trained in various muggle fighting arts, from staff fighting to hand to hand combat, also that they were master wizard duellers. This list of qualifications could only suggest that they take up one teaching position; Defence Against The Dark Arts.

The best part was when Dumbledore read the signature on the bottom; Albus Dumbledore. Harry and Hermione nearly laughed, but their extensive training in hiding their emotions and fighting against pain kept them from betraying any information.

They could see the conclusion forming on Dumbledore's face even before he made his announcement.

"Please welcome to Hogwarts Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, your new Defence Against the Dark Arts teachers!"


	3. Tea and a chat?

WHY CAN'T I READ ANY OF MY REVIEWS!

I've gotten 9 so far and 96 hits (thank you so much everyone) but I can only read the 1st two I received (QueenCate and ohmygawsh)! As much as I love you guys I really want to see what everyone else has said!

If you know something that I don't and there's some special way to see past the first two that I don't know about, I would be eternally grateful if you could share it with me. Obviously don't put it in your review because I can't read them, but if you send it to my email I will love you forever!

On with the show!

* * *

Following this announcement chatter and excited whispers slowly started and within 5 minutes the hall was as loud as ever, although for the first time in many years the **whole **school was talking about one thing: the mysterious strangers. Who were they? Where did they come from? And why did Harry have the same last name as James?

Up at the head table Harry and Hermione were sitting on the far end, in front of the Slytherins. The head of Slytherin (a particularly severe looking witch called Vivienne Walsall) was sitting on Hermione's left and was currently trying to engage them in conversation.

"…Want to watchout for the Marauders. They are a nasty bunch, always pranking my house for no reason at all. But just give them as many detentions as possible and try to take lots of points from Gryffindor they deserve it those nasty little buggers!"

This was just too much for Hermione, "I don't believe that that is part of Hogwarts protocol, showing favouritism amongst the houses. I intend to be fair and take points as I see fit. I would advise you to do the same."

The venom dripping from her every word was enough to scare off the irritating teacher. She mumbled something incoherent and turned away to talk to the teacher on her other side.

"Wow what a pain in the ass!" whispered Harry. "I'm never talking to her again."

"Absolutely. But enough about her. What about you?"

"What do you mean 'Mione?"

"Seeing your parents and Sirius alive and sitting with that rat Pettigrew?"

"How could you have told Walsall that you were going to be fair when the first thing you do is bad mouth a student?"

"I don't know how you can be so calm about it. We are 23 years in the past and your teenage parents are sitting right across the hall! I know I'd be excited"

"I know what you're thinking. That we'll be the best of friends, pull some pranks together, run towards each other through fields of daisies while some corny music plays in the background, but I'm a teacher. I am here to impart knowledge upon their impressionable young minds. They won't want to be friends with me."

"Oh Harry! Don't be so serious. We'll be the coolest teachers that they've ever had. Of course they'll love you. Just like I do." And she have him a quick kiss on the cheek.

* * *

This didn't go unnoticed by a group of 7th years at the Gryffindor table.

"What do you think Moony? You have a sense for these sorts of things, I mean with you being a were-"

"SHUT UP WORMTAIL!"

Moony looked up at the head table then back at his friends who were looking expectant,

"Well," he said slowly, "I don't really know them personally of course, but from watching them I would guess that both of them know a lot about the Dark Arts and even though they are young, they've been fighting it for a long time. They are obviously a couple and they must be pretty powerful if Dumbledore couldn't do anything more that point his wand at them."

The other 3 marauders looked at him in awe. They had missed all the things that had been so obvious to Moony.

"I wonder where they're going to sleep?" asked Padfoot

"What? Thinking of asking them if they want to share our dormitory are you Sirius?"

"No! Of course not. I was just wondering."

"They'll probably have a room in the teachers quarters," said the ever sensible Moony.

"Ooohhhhhhh"

After the feast was concluded Dumbledore approached the newest additions to his teaching staff.

"If you would like to follow me I can show you to your rooms. And perhaps we could have a little chat over some tea?"

"Of course Headmaster," Agreed Hermione with a smile

"Please, call me Albus. Both of you," and with his eyes twinkling madly he set off with Harry and Hermione following.

* * *

"And this is your bathroom. You will be sharing of course." Dumbledore had just finished giving the grand tour of their quarters. They had an enormous shared lounge, separate upstairs bedrooms with a bathroom between them, A large empty room behind the behind the lounge and a room filled with empty bookshelves out the back of the bedrooms.

"Anything you need just call for your house elf Moby and he will supply you with food, bedding, towels, assistance, whatever you desire." They all sat down on one of the enormous red lounges. "I'll supply the tea if you two supply the chat?"

Both graciously agreed and they soon began discussing everything from their time at Hogwarts to what they planned to teach in their lessons. They had no reserves from him and told him everything about their time.

Dumbledore was in awe of what they had done and what they planned to do here. He left their apartment feeling very satisfied and reassured about the two young teachers.


	4. The Letter

Still can't read my reviews, still angry, still tired, and still got nothing better to do. hmph . well I've got 219 hits and 15 reviews, 13 of which I can't read. Damn

* * *

Harry and Hermione stayed up late that night. Talking drinking and planning for the next year.

"Hey Harry?" said Hermione seductively, she was drunk off her face and Harry wasn't in much better shape.

"Yess," he slurred

"Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?"

"Of course my angel!"

She just giggled.

Slowly they sidled over to eachother and Harry kissed Hermione on the lips briefly.

"I love you Professor Granger," Harry whispered

"Me too," she said wrapping him up in a big hug. They fell asleep that was cuddled in eachothers arms, both too exhausted to get up and move.

* * *

The next day was a Sunday so they had an entire day to plan their lessons and sort out their apartement. They had shrunk about 10 trunks full of their stuff and hidden them in their coats while they were coming to Hogwarts.

That morning they enlarged them again and started to unpack. They each had one trunk for their clothes, 4 trunks filled with books, and another 4 filled with all kinds of dark detectors and instruments that they would use in their lessons. They put most of the books in their library, and all of their clothes away in their bedrooms. They had opted for breakfast in bed, calling Moby to make them bacon and eggs.

Then Hermione, and a very reluctant Harry sat down and wrote out plans for all of their lessons. They wanted to spend about half of the year doing duelling (both muggle and wizarding), but there were a few other things they needed to get out of the way first. Their classes were going to be fantastic and they were very excited about teaching them.

Dumbledore popped in and delivered their timetables around luchtime and encouraged them to eat with the rest of the school but they were writing a very important owl that they had to have answered before tomorrow, so they worked all the way through lunch but promised to come down for dinner. They sent the note with Hedwig and then went to explore their new classroom.

It was one of the larger ones in the school. There were desks for the students in neat lines, 2 desks for the teachers on a slightly raised podium at the front of the classroom, many shelves that they filled with all of their dark detectors. A door behind the desks, which lead to an office housed the remaining contents of their trunks.

They worked on their classroom, tiding and sorting for hours, and consequently missed the start of dinner by about 15 minutes.

"We don't have to go do we Hermione?"

"I don't want to go either, but we promised that we would and I am kind of hungry."

"We have to get this finished by our double tomorrow in periods 3 and 4 though."

"Look, we'll do a bit after a quick dinner, then get up early and finish it before the class gets here. What class is it anyway?"

"7th year Advanced DADA," answered Harry a little too quickly.

"I knew you were excited about it!" exclaimed Hermione "You've memorised all our classes with your parents haven't you!"

Harry just blushed and mumbled something about going down to dinner.

* * *

They tried to enter the hall inconspicuously but it was hard considering that everyone was looking for them. They hadn't been seen since the previous night and they had left quite an impression on the students and staff alike.

All heads turned their was when they entered the hall. They walked quickly to their places at the end of the table just like last night. Dumbledore caught Harry's eye and he thought with irritation, "Don't his eyes ever stop twinkling?"

They sat down, and with no embarrassment whatsoever began to eat their meal. Slowly everyone turned away from them and started on their own meals. They had almost forgotten about the strange teachers when a completely white owl flew towards Professor Potter and landed on his arm. He pulled the letter from her beak and offered her some water from his own goblet. She readily accepted and then flew off out one of the windows, to the owlery.

Over at the head table Harry was eagerly pulling the envelope off his letter.

"What did he say Harry?" Hermione asked impatiently?

"Hold your horses I'll read it out."

Dear Mr. Potter and Miss. Granger 

_Upon receiving your letter I was very shocked not only at the content, but by the fact that two people as young as yourselves would not only be given teaching positions at Hogwarts and that they would write to me asking such a thing._

_I have consulted with the Head Auror (Alastor Moody), and have decided to give you permission to do such a thing. I had better make it formal, so that you do not arouse suspicion and are apprehended or any such thing._

_I, Cornelius Fudge, Give Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, permission to perform the Imperius Curse on their DADA students from year four up to year 7. I recognise that this is an Unforgivable and will bring no punishment against these 2 individuals within these guidelines._

_With Kind Regards,_

_Minister for Magic,_

_Cornelius Fugde._

Harry and hermione breathed a sigh of relief. They now had a lesson plan for the 7th years tomorrow morning.


	5. A lesson to Remember: part 1

I CAN READ MY REVIEWS!

It makes me so happy you have no idea! (woot 548 hits and 22 reviews later and on my first day of my first ever fanfiction)

I would have done this a while ago, but as you know from all my bitching I haven't been able to.

Nfjfs- Thank you for your advice on word count, I was tending to get a little freaked about the length of the story.

Chattrbox357- I agree the bit where they find out is always my favourite, and its going to be so much fun to write because he is older than them!

Win- sorry about the difference of opinion, if you read my note at the bottom of chapter 1 you would know why I did this. Also I was unaware as to Harry's year of birth, my apologies

WheezlyGirl- you are easily one of my nicest reviewers and you always bring a smile to my face. Thank you and I look forward to reading your story.

Aerohead- thnx for taking the time to review

QueenCate- It is always a pleasure to read your biting opinions. Really I enjoy your honesty.

Ohmygawsh- I love you so much! I totally agree about Dumbledore.

Azurestar- YAY! I'm on an alert. Thank you for your logical opinion on dates, I am afraid it's too late now and frankly; I don't want to change them.

Shadowryder- love your name, but please read my explanation on dates at the end of chapter one

Slytherin-Angel44- another one of my kind reviewers, thank you so much for your support

Lady Page- Do you read Tamora Pierce? I love her! Thanks for the review

Mismissymel- I had the exact same problem, so do what I did, register for a new account and it'll all be apparent when you get to your homepage OR go to Then write a story in word, then go to documents and download it. It's really pretty easy, this is my first story!

KEEP READING AND REVIEWING!

* * *

"Harry will you stop pacing!"

"I'm sorry Hermione," Harry stood still immediately but she could tell he was still nervous.

"Harry look at me…LOOK AT ME! You are going to make a fantastic teacher, everyone will love you, you'll get to know your parents and your Godfather better and we'll have a fantastic year."

Harry nodded and collected himself to face the class that he knew was waiting outside the door at this exact moment.

Hermione looked at him worriedly. He smiled reassuringly and she could tell that almost all of his apprehension was gone. She waved her hand lazily at the door and it sprung open, much to the surprise of the 7th years standing behind it.

"Come in, come in," Harry called impatiently and Hermione couldn't help but to smile at how easily he fell into the roll of teacher. Again.

The class looked terrified and Hermione could understand why. No one knew anything about them. They had just turned up one night out of nowhere and got the job. This was not going to work. For them to learn what they needed to be taught, they had to have a connection with their teachers. They needed to trust them completely. She whispered her idea in Harry's ear as the class settled them and he voiced it to the class.

"We understand that you must be pretty nervous so we're going to let you ask us anything you like. Even our most embarrassing moments, but only for 10 minutes, after that we start the class and you don't get another chance."

No one spoke up. They all looked to terrified to move.

Harry looked like he was about to yell at them, and knowing his temper wouldn't help anything, she cut him off, "Look, I'd be nervous too if I was being taught by Harry and myself, but we don't want to hurt you, we just want to help you survive in the big bad old world."

The class looked less tense, but still no one said anything.

"Look I'll start," said Harry, he looked thoughtful for a moment and then said, "Hermione and Harry, why did you want to become teachers?"

"Well I wanted to be a teacher because I loved school so much…"

"Nerd cough cough, "said Harry

Hermione just smacked him upside the head, which lightened the mood considerably.

"As I was saying, I loved school and I always looked up to my teachers, they were so wise and they had so much power. So I guess my reason would be that I wanted to help people and take away house points," she finished with a laugh.

"For me it would have to be…," he thought back to fifth year and the thrill it had given him, "…I just like it. I like teaching people things, not stupid things, things that matter. I like teaching things that make a difference to people, to know that I've taught them something that could one day save their life."

"Next question, Miss Niall"

A blonde girl from Hufflepuff had cautiously raised her hand into the air.

"I don't mean so sound rude or anything…um…I mean I don't mean to pry…its just that we were…um.."

She was having difficulty asking her question, but finally managed it in a tiny, barely audible voice after both her teachers smiled kindly at her, "How old are you?"

Harry and Hermione both laughed at this and Anna Niall thought that maybe she had offended them.

"Well I turned 19 on the 31st of July," said Harry

"And I turned 19 on the 19th of March," said Hermione (is that right? Oh well it is now)

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. These teachers were actually quite cool. They had no qualms with revealing their ages and were willing to share anything about themselves.

* * *

"Sirius ask a question," hissed James.

"Why don't you?"

"Because I can't think of anything!"

"Ok, ok. I've got one." He raised his hand into the air and at a nod from Professor Granger asked his question, "What is the most illegal thing you've ever done?"

He was quite proud of this question as he was sure neither would have very good answers. He smirked happily at them from the back row.

"Well," said Hermione "Because I was never caught for anything I don't know which was the most illegal, so can we tell you a few?"

Everyone in the class sat forward, eager for some juicy goss.

"In second year I brewed a polyjuice potion in a toilet withough permission," she said.

The class was in awe. They thought that she was going to say something like tying her shoes wrong, but the had brewed one of the most illegal potions in the world when she was **12!**

"um then, when I was 13, I travelled through time to help a friend of mine out of prison. Harry and me went. We would have taken Ron, but he was in the hospital wing with a broken leg. When I was 15 I broke into the Department of Mysteries and we smashed it up pretty badly."

The class looked at her incredulously. "Hey! We were being chased by like 10 deatheaters, cut me some slack. And that's about it I suppose, there were lots of other things but they were all pretty minor.

Every person was looking at her with their mouth open in surprise. They could not believe that this woman had done all of this by the time she was 16. no one moved. No one spoke. There was a long silence before anyone said anything.

"Well do you want to hear what I've done or not?" asked Harry

The class nodded mutely.

"When I was in first year, I sort of stole the Philosophers stone, when I was in second year I flew a flying car to school and was seen by muggles with Ron, in third year Hermione's already told you, and in 5th year I started an illegal defence group and then the incident in the Department Of Mysteries."

No one could believe it. Prof. Potter had done even more than Prof. Granger.

"Don't be so surprised. We were in school once too. We broke more rules than nearly anyone. Just because we're professors now doesn't mean we're gonna change and become total stiffs. We love to have fun. Probably more than most people here," said Hermione

"Our classes are going to more fun than any you've ever had, got it?" said Harry. "Now, on with the questions."

After getting over their initial shock, the class had become even more daring than before.

"Are you a virgin?"

"No"

"Is it true you're going out?"

"Yes."

"What's your favourite colour."

"Black!"

"Are you rich?"

"These robes are Armani, what do you think?"

"Are you really more powerful than Dumbledore?"

"Um…yes."

"Do you have any children?"

"NO!"

"Who's Ron?"

"One of our best friends."

It seemed everyone had run out of questions, but then just as the 10 minutes was drawing to a close, "Why do you say He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's name?"

"Because fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself."

"And we're not scared of him."


	6. A lesson to Remember: part 2

It's now 7.43pm New Years Day and I've been writing this since like 11am. So here it is Chapter 6!

* * *

Stunned silence greeted this. No one could believe it. Then whispers began to break out.

"But Sir! How can you not be afraid of him?"

"They must be lying!"

"They are TOO cool!"

"Who do they think they are?"

"Wow!"

"I can't believe it. I won't believe it."

"QUIET!" Yelled Potter

"Is it really that hard to believe?" said Professor Granger softly. She almost sounded disappointed. "He is only a man after all. A cruel, twisted man, but he is pretty close to human."

"That's 10 minutes guys. On with the lesson. First we have a bit of planning to do. Hermione?"

She had been staring out into space, but at Harry's question she came back down to earth.

"Yes. Sorry. First of all, no one is to call us Sir or Ma'am or Professor. We aren't much older than you and it makes us uncomfortable."

"We are Harry and Hermione or hey you there," said Harry jokingly and the class laughed appreciatively.

"Next we are going to lay down some rules for the classroom, " said Hermione. "We want you to have fun, but we need you to learn, otherwise we're going to get fired. So we need your full attention all the time and trust me, you're not going to miss one of these lessons."

"That means no private conversations unless we say, no working on anything that isn't directly related to the work we set. We will have no rudeness or bullying in our classrooms nor any fights. We can kick you out as easily as we please, so don't upset us."

After that little speech, no one was planning to play up in this classroom anymore.

"Now that that's out of the way, we are going to outline the year plan. The topics are on the board, you may copy them down if you wish. We will be explaining each fully as we get to them. We will actually start our first topic today."

He waved his wand and the topics appeared on the board in a very neat, even, round font, very unlike his own messy scrawl.

The Unforgivable Curses

Progressive Magic

Boggarts

Fitness

Muggle and Wizard Duelling

"Firstly the Unforgivables. The Headmaster has told us that you have not yet covered these. Is this true?"

"Yes sir," intoned the class.

"What did I say about 'Sirs'? Now try that again."

"Yes Harry."

"Very good. As I was saying, you haven't done them yet which is appalling! We did them when we were in 4th year!"

"Today we will begin by demonstrating all 3 and placing the Imperious curse on you to see if you can throw it off… don't gasp like that. Oh really by quiet."

The class had broken into hysterical talk. Everyone knew that what he was proposing to do was illegal. There was no way that he could be serious.

Harry was getting fed up, "QUIET!" he yelled.

"I think it would be best if we moved on and dealt with that particular objection when it arises, don't you Harry?" asked Hermione soothingly.

"The next thing on our agenda," she continued "is progressive magic. This is the art of changing magic, with your mind, to suit your purpose, you might delay the time frame, suit it to a bigger or smaller size frame, or alter your intention, so you can use a small knowledge of spells for a wide variety of uses. It will all become clearer when we start the subject."

Harry soon felt calm enough to speak, "After that, we will be starting a unit on Boggarts."

"But sir, we've already done Boggarts! That's grade 3 work," said a boy from Ravenclaw.

"If you had just let me finished, I would have told you that we are not learning how to fight against boggarts. You will each in turn step up to the boggart and find out what you fear the most, and then the whole class together will learn how to fight off what you fear. If you fear trolls, we fill learn how to fight them, If you fear banshees, then we will learn how to fight her too. We will continue with this subject until everyone in the class can fight off every persons fear."

Hermione took over for him after that, "Then we will begin our duelling lessons, these will take up about half of the year, but before we can do that, we have to get you all fit enough to participate. You will each be given a physical examination and we will spend 2 weeks of classes bringing your fitness up to what it should be. Then we can move onto the best subject of the year."

"Duelling. We will teach you to fight with knives, with guns, with your hands, with your wand, with a staff, with a sword and with a bow and arrow to name a few. "

"I am positive that you will enjoy learning this as much as we will enjoy teaching it."

* * *

"Hermione, it's now 10 o'clock so we have an hour to start learning the Unforgivables."

"Alright, you must know why the Unforgivables are named so?

The class murmured it's accent.

"Good so who can tell me what they are? Yes Miss. Brown."

"There is one that causes great pain, the Cruciatus Cruse."

"Very good description," said Harry. "Who here has seen the Cruciatus curse?"

No one put up their hands.

"You are about to now," and he pulled a large cockroach from a jar under his desk. "Crucio!"

The cockroach began to jerk around on the desk. It admitted a high pitched keening sound and it was clear to see that it was in pain. Harry removed the spell and the cockroach shuddered one last time then lay still.

Hermione asked for another curse.

"Imperius curse, the controlling one," said Sirius Black matter of factly.

"That's right Mr. Black, " she said coolly. " Imperio!"

The cockroach danced around on the desk then jumped an enormous distance and landed on Sirius's head. It then crawled down his very pale face and unmistakeably kissed him on the cheek. Then it ran back with inhuman speed and sat on the desk like a dog before Hermione called off the spell.

"And does anyone know the last one?" she asked

Remus Lupin put up his hand for the first time in class, "Avada Kedavra, the killing curse."

"Very clever Lupin. Now, "Avada Kedavra!"

There was a flash of green light and then the cockroach lay dead on its back.

"That's how easy it is, " said Harry sadly. "Two words and you're dead. There is no way to stop it and no one has survived it ("yet," he thought ). We can't teach you to block it, because it's not possible, but we can teach you to block the Imperius curse. It can be done!"

They proceeded to do a demonstration in which Harry was meant to hop on the desk like a monkey but just stood there and laughed at the looks on his students faces.

The students then got in two lines, one behind Harry and one behind Hermione. They cast the spell on each of the students in turn and made them do a great number of incredible things.

Only when Harry saw James Potter standing in front of him, did he have any hope of someone throwing it off.

"Ready James?"

"Ready enough."

"Imperio!"

_Go and kiss Sirius, you know that you want to. Come on James KISS HIM! NOW!_

But James just stood there. After about 20 seconds Harry increased the pressure on his mind, but he didn't kiss Sirius, he did however fall to the floor panting and utterly exhausted.

"Did you see that everyone! James Potter beat the Imperius curse! Well done James go sit down and help yourself to some of the chocolate on the desk. Extremely well done! And on your first try too!"

Next in line was Lily Potter. Looking determined to beat Potter, she stepped up to Harry and asked for him to put her under the curse.

"Imperio!"

_Yell I love James, Lily! You know you want to. It's the only thing to do! Yell it Lilly! YELL IT NOW!_

But she didn't budge, she withstood all of his efforts. Only when he released her did she show any signs of weakness. She swayed and would have fallen over if Harry hadn't caught her.

"Go and sit with James Lily. Both of you HAVE to eat some chocolate."

_'Why can't I play matchmaker in the past,' thought Harry. 'if I'm not born that could be a bit problematic!'_

He continued to perform the curse until most people had made a complete ass of themselves.

James and Lily were the only ones to throw it off completely, but others had smaller successes.

Sirius and Remus had both resisted for about 15 seconds before they gave up and did what they were told.

Rhea, managed to fight off the spell well enough to do everything she was told to do backwards, but couldn't stop herself dancing.

"Very well done everyone!" said Hermione. "I think that's enough for today."

"You must all be tired. Eat a big lunch and don't forget some chocolate, it really helps!"

That had been one awesome according to the Marauders and that was all the talked about all the way to the great hall.

Infact, that was all anyone was discussing in the whole school. Those that had been in the lesson were telling everyone that would listen how awesome it was, and those that hadn't, were counting down the hours until they had a lesson with the new professors.


	7. Treacle Tarts

IMPORTANT!

Please read this authors note it is very important (well I think it is)

As to all the questions as to where I live its Brisbane, which is the capital of Queensland. GO AUSSIE!

I know shipping Hermione and Harry was an unpopular choice, but I have always loved them together, better than Ron anyway! I'm not changing it, but I definitely won't put in anymore lovey dovey scenes but there will be references to their relationship because it's my fic and I'll do what I want! Lol

I am not usually a very angry person. Sometimes I do have a temper, but it usually takes a lot to get me set off, HOWEVER, if I don't stop receiving reviews insulting my choice of years I am GOING TO SCREAM! I CAN NOT take it anymore! No, I am not going to change the dates, so get over it like everyone else. _Some_ people have said it in the nicest possible way, but I have already explained why I picked 1983 in the first chapter. If you had read it properly it would not be necessary to waste your time sending me VERY annoying reviews! Please stop!

I really feel I have to apologise for my atrocious spelling. It was always been a problem, I just CANNOT spell! I will try harder though as I didn't realise it was such a big issue. Thanks for the pointer!

It seems that the clamour for longer chapters has outweighed the call for shorter ones. The reason they were short is that it was what my early reviewers called for. Now I can see that people do want longer chaps so I'll do my best. But really 7 chapters in one day in between all the things I had to do, is a pretty big achievement on my first go!

Thank you to everyone who understood my offbeat humour in chapter 5. I am sorry that so many people said that it was otherwise unsatisfactory.

I've had 1173 hits and 33 reviews in one day from my first fanfic. I am so proud of myself and so thankful to all the people who took the time to read my chapters and even more thankful to the people who took the time to write something about my work. Even more thanks to the people who are kind in their reviews, you almost cancel out the bad ones!

I would like to add that I love to hear your opinions on where the story should go in your reviews. Sometimes I might need a push if I'm stuck. I've only had one person do this so far and I am SO grateful. I'm taking your advice for the next chapter.

I hate to say it but I'm going away to Mooloolaba on the 7th and won't be home till the 21st and I go back to school on the 24th or something, so if you don't hear from me in a while, don't give up, I'm just trying to find the time to update.

Lots of Love

Bee

"That has to be. The. Coolest. Lesson. We have. Ever. Had!" said Sirius Black at lunch right after their first DADA lesson.

He looked around at his friends for support and they all nodded. They were currently sitting at the Gryffindor table eating lunch.

"They know it!" said James

"Um… know what Prongsy?" asked Peter

"What it's like. To be fighting the dark arts. To be actually helping people. It's incredible!"

"Yeah," they all agreed with a sigh of admiration.

They all fell into silence, remembering the lesson. Everyone who had been in that lesson had never experienced anything like it. They hadn't even opened their books the whole lesson. Their teachers had been beyond belief as well. They were easily the best they had ever had. They knew everything they had taught so well and had been so laid back and open the whole time.

"It would be so cool to be one of their friends. You know hang out with them out of class. They seem so awesome," thought Moony aloud.

"What? Going to start grade-grubbing Moony?"

"No! Unlike some people, I don't need to grade-grub. I already have them. But seriously they seem like really nice people. And to know even a small bit of what they know would be amazing. I'm so glad they're teaching us. And with all the stuff they got up to in school, they could probably show us a thing or too," he explained.

They all nodded. He was right. But why would the two coolest teachers in the school, possibly the whole world, want to hang out with a group of students.

"I agree," came a voice from down the table, "They seem like really nice people."

"Evans are you eavesdropping?" asked James

"We couldn't help but to hear. You were talking so loudly," retorted Lily

"And we were talking about the exact same thing," added Rhea

"So what do you think about them?" asked Remus.

"We loved them," came the voices of Lily's other best friends, Jessica and Emily.

"They were so, like, wise," said Emily

"But at the same time, cool, " said Jessica.

"I liked them too," said Peter. "They way they taught was like, inspiring."

"It thought they sounded really smart, " added Lily

"Yeah like nerds," laughed Sirius

"Come on Sirius," retorted James. "You were just saying like 5 minutes ago how much you loved them."

He huffed, but they all saw him smiling beneath his breath.

"We also heard Remuses suggestion," said Jessica.

"Oh yeah? Which one?" asked James suspiciously

"The one about what it would be like to know them personally."

"Yeah but it's not going to happen is it?" said Remus. "We were just joking around."

"I don't know. We were just saying that it must get pretty lonely for them."

"Being the only people their age, and having to hang around with the teachers."

"So we thought that maybe they could use a bit of company."

"We were going to go and see them now, but then we overheard your conversation and figured we may as well ask you as well."

The marauders all looked at each other for a moment and seemed to reach an agreement just by looking at the others.

"We'll come," said James. "But there's no time now. We've got Transfiguration now and our next DADA lesson is last thing tomorrow."

"Should we go up to them after that lesson?" asked Lily cautiously. As much as she wanted to meet Harry and Hermione out of classes, she didn't want to look stupid or embarrass herself in front of them.

"Sounds good to me," said Rhea enthusiastically. She got up from the table and shouted back over her shoulder, "I'll see you all in DADA!"

The rest of the group following suit and left for their various classes. All were looking forward to talking to their professors the next day. They went through their classes the next day without paying much attention to what was going on. They were too excited about DADA.

They all met up again for their last lesson of the day. Advanced Defence Against the Dark Arts. The lesson was similar to the last in that, they were still working on the Unforgivables, but this time there wasn't as much practical work. They took notes on the history and uses of the curses and the same as last time they were all put under the Imperius curse.

Lily and James managed to throw it off again but without so much exertion, while Sirius and Remus had the same results as James and Lily had had last lesson. Rhea, Jessica and Emily were met with limited success and a few others from the other three houses had small successes.

When the lesson finished the class was dismissed and the 2 teachers sat down at their desks at the front of the classroom. They were well aware that the Marauders as well as Lily and her friends had not left the classroom, but allowed them to make the first move. Hermione pulled out a book and started taking notes for a lesson that they were teaching first thing tomorrow and Harry attacked a pile of parchments on boggarts from some of his third years.

"Um…excuse me Professors?" came a tentative voice.

Both looked up and feigned surprise at beholding the large group standing before them.

"Please. Its Harry and Hermione. Don't make us put you in detention."

James Potter spoke up, "Sure Harry and Hermione. We were just wondering…um…if…um…you know…wow this is awkward."

Sirius tried after him but couldn't seem to get the words out, "it's just that…er…we were…um…thinking about you…"

"I'm touched Sirius," said Harry mockingly.

They were all to embarrassed even to laugh.

Lily took a deep breath and just spat out what both boys had been trying to say, "Wewerewonderingifmaybeyouwouldappreciatesomecompanybecauseyoumustgetverylonelywithoutanyoneyouragearound!"

Harry was suddenly reminded of himself at age 14 trying to ask Cho to the ball. He looked up and saw that they were all looking as embarrassed and awkward as he had felt at that time.

"We would absolutely love it!" came a voice on his left. "I'm so glad you asked. We were beginning to get a bit bored, weren't we Harry?"

He nodded.

They all breathed a sigh of relief.

"So what would you like to do?" asked Harry.

"Well," said Rhea. "Right now I could go some dinner. Will you come and sit with us?"

Harry and Hermione exchanged a quick glance before both shouting, "YES!"

"Oh my God you have no idea how boring it is sitting up there next to that Slytherin bitch."

"We aren't used to sitting up at the head table like that," said Harry "At our old school we always sat at one of the house tables. It feels weird sitting up there with all those old people!"

"Well come on then!" said Sirius, his foot already out of the door. "The food is calling me!"

They all walked down to the Great Hall together. It was a bit awkward after that high excitement moment back in the classroom. As soon as they stood up, the Marauders and tag alongs were forcible reminded that these were teachers. They were taller, older and more powerful than they were and no one could find common ground to talk about.

Lily, James, Peter, Sirius, Rhea, Jessica, Emily, Remus, Harry and Hermione sat down at the end of the Gryffindor table.

"Treacle tart!" yelled Harry and dived for a bowl in the middle of all of them. He grabbed the whole bowl and proceeded to stuff them into his mouth.

"Harry!" reprimanded Hermione. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Treacle tarts 'Mione! Don't you remember? We used to have them at school! I haven't had these in 2 years!"

"Well maybe you could leave some for everyone else."

"NO! They are all mine!"

The rest of the group watched this exchange with mouths wide open. This wizard who had to be one of the most powerful people they had met was eating treacle tarts like he hadn't seen food in days.

"I guess he likes them," said James.

"One thing I learnt growing up with two boys as best friends, is that they eat ALOT of

food. And Harry isn't even as bad as Ron was," she said with a laugh.

"I bet you miss him a lot," said Rhea sympathetically.

Harry just continued to eat treacle tarts, enjoying his relived youth.

"Everyday," she said with a sigh. "But if he was here, Harry and him would just get into all sorts of trouble."

"Would not!" said Harry sullenly. He could talk not because all of the treacle tarts had been eaten.

"But you used to get up to lots of trouble at school didn't you?" asked Emily. "All that stuff you told us in the first lesson."

"Hermione? Get in trouble?" scoffed Harry. "I don't think so. She was the teacher's pet. The best student in every class. She was top of every class for 7 years!"

"But you always beat me in DADA," she reminded.

"So you just made all of that stuff up then?" said Sirius. He sounded beyond disappointed.

"Oh no! I just never got in trouble for any of it!" she laughed.

"Harry and Ron however got more detentions between them, than I have hairs on my head!"

"It's not my fault! And plus it's not like we got caught every time!"

The whole group laughed. Some out of pure shock and others out of genuine amusement.

The night went on that way for a couple of hours. All three parties sharing tales of their exploits.

Harry and Hermione told about the reason they were friends (which shocked the pants of everyone), the Marauders talked about all of their pranks and Lily and her friends told all about their girly adventures.

By the time they had agreed to go to bed the hall was totally empty and it was well past curfew.

"Here take this bit of paper," said Hermione holding out the suggest parchment.

"What for?" asked Remus

"It's after curfew and we don't want you getting caught do we? It says that you have our permission to be returning to the common room. But make sure you go straight there. We'll know if you don't," explained Harry.

They all nodded and said there good byes. Hermione and they girls all hugged and kissed and the boys shook hands warmly.

"Off you go now," said Hermione

"Oh. And before I forget, 20 points to Gryffindor!"

The next day went as normal. The group from last night all greeting each other in the hallways. Unfortunately there was no DADA class that day. However there was one tomorrow and they were going to be moving onto a new topic; Progressive Magic.

"Ok class, put away your books for the moment," Instructed Hermione

"Today as you know we are going to be starting the topic of Progressive Magic. Most of you will have absolutely no idea what that is, am I correct?"

The class nodded.

"It's rather hard to explain so we're going to begin with a demonstration and then Harry and myself will write up some notes on the board for you to copy down."

She reached under the desk and pulled out a beautiful red rose bud. "What we are proposing to do is to make this but bloom within a time period that we set. Now who can suggest a spell that has anything to do with growth?"

The class was silent for a moment and then a Hufflepuff called Jane Emmets put up her hand, "Engorgio? The Enlarging charm?"

"Very good Miss Emmets," said Harry. "With one spell that has absolutely nothing to do with the blooming of roses, we can adapt it so suit our cause. This can be done to any task you are met with. You can change the purpose or intention, so that even if the caster has a very limited knowledge of magical incantations, they can overcome any obstacle they may face."

The class was beginning to understand what this whole thing was about and some even nodded or murmured their assent.

"Now we're going to make this rose fully grow in the space of 1 minute so what we do is we put together our time frame with our desire and we make a simple incantation. Like Un Minuto a Engorgio!" (Yes I made that up but oh well)

The rose began to change before their very eyes. The petals opened up and grew larger. The stem sprouted thorns and in exactly one minute, there stood a fully-grown rose.

Harry reached down and scooped it off the desk and with a bit of unnecessary flourish handed it to Hermione. She blushed and thanked him.

"If you attempted to do what Hermione did just them, most of you would end up with a very large rose but that would only last one minute or something like that. It's all about the intention. You have to focus your mind on achieving your goals. Now copy all of this down and then we'll start on some practical applications that you have to work out for yourself."

All in all it was a very full lesson. After the demo they all had to make a toad sing a song of their choice. Some people got their toads to make noise and some even got a vague tune but most got nothing. Apparently it was every bit as hard as Harry had made out.

They were all allowed to take their toads away with them, and their homework was to successfully make them sing a song by their lesson on Monday. They still had one day of school left for that week and everyone couldn't wait for it to be over. Not only was it their first week back at school but there was a Hogsmeade visit that Saturday.

James still hadn't forgotten Lily's promise back on the first day and asked her and her friends about date arrangements after Thursday's lesson.

Friday passed quickly and despite much hard work, no one had managed to make his or her toad sing yet. Most people were using a combination of the charm opposite to the silencing charm (the Momensio charm) combined with the title or some of the words of their song. However their failing was their concentration. They couldn't wish it strongly enough so at most the frogs croaked to their own tune.

Lily, Rhea, Jessica and Emily met James, Sirius, Remus and Peter in the entrance hall to get a carriage together. Everyone was excited and happy to be going out of the castle.

Harry and Hermione had decided on a day out as well. Preferring the hustle and bustle of the large town to the quiet solitude of Hogwarts.

"So where do you want to go first Lils?" asked James Potter after all 8 of them had stepped out of the carriage.

"I'm freezing. Can we go to the bar for a drink?"

"Sure darling," he said and slung his arm over her shoulder as they walked off together towards The Three Broomsticks.

The rest followed at a distance, not wanting to intrude upon the lovebirds. However they were far from that and Sirius had to choke back a snort of laughter when he saw Lily carefully remove James's arm from her shoulder as though it was poisonous.

They all enjoyed the warming brew and chatter happily for about an hour. Then the girls decided to go shopping.

The boys graciously declined their offer to join them and set off on their own for Zonko's.

They had decided that now was the time to put into action that plan they had formulated on the first night.

They had done all the necessary research and knew what spells to use but just needed to pick up some magical paint from Zonko's.

They entered to shop, thankful for the relief from the cold, and made their way to the paint and goo section.

They were spoiled for choice. There was paint that flashed rude messages, paint that tickled anywhere it touched a person, paint that flashed all different colours and one that sat out in 3foot spikes so no one could get near the wearer. They couldn't help but to get all of these, but decided for their prank to use the "Scribe Paint." It would write things all of it's own accord. Things like embarrassing facts about people, messages desired by the user and just rude things it came up with at the time.

They had just picked it up when they heard a voice from behind them, "You aren't thinking of pulling a prank with that are you Mr. Potter?"

Thinking that it was a Hogwarts Professor and that they were in big trouble, he slowly put down the tin and turned around. He was half right. It was a Hogwarts professor, well two actually and neither was about to get them into trouble. Infact both were laughing their heads off at the looks on the Marauders faces.

"You should have seen your faces!" gasped Hermione. "SO FUNNY!"

They breathed a sigh of relief now realising that neither were going to turn them in.

"You shouldn't have scared us like that," squeaked Peter.

Both just laughed even harder. Finally after many tears of laughter and sighs of mirth they collected themselves enough to speak.

"So what are you doing with that Scribe Paint?"

"Don't worry we won't turn you in. We're just curious."

"We're going to prank the Slytherins," said Sirius defiantly.

"Good. Good," said Harry, "can't have you pranking any of the nice houses."

They were a bit shocked, but they agreed so Remus elaborated, "We're going to make all of them magnetised to Snape, so there's a bit ball of Slytherins rolling around and then we're going to booby trap some of this paint so it falls on them. Should be good."

"Yeah it should, but we'd better leave you to your planning, shouldn't we Harry," she said forcefully and Harry just managed a small wave good bye before he was dragged off by his girlfriend.

The next day dawned bright and early and the marauders as cheerful as 4 teenage boys can be early in the morning. The trap was set. As soon as the last Slytherin entered the hall they would all get stuck to Snape, and well you know the plan from there.

They entered the hall and sat at the Gryffindor table. Harry and Hermione winked at them from above.

It was bound to happen in just a matter of minutes, but The Marauders had perfected their poker faces and looked perfectly indifferent as breakfast progressed.

About half way through, when Amelia Parkinson entered the hall every Slytherin (including the Head of Slytherin) got magnetically pulled towards Severus Snape.

They soon formed a massive Slytherin ball and began bouncing around. Almost without anyone noticing they began to display messages in red and gold such as:

"Snape hasn't had a bath in a week."

"Gryffindor rule"

"Slytherins are all slimy!"

"We suck at Quidditch!"

The Marauders were rolling around on the ground with laughter, when McGonnagal yelled above the ruckus, "POTTER! BLACK! LUPIN! PETTIGREW! I KNOW THIS WAS YOU!"

Resigning themselves to the fact that they had been caught, they trudged slowly up to the head table where their head of house was glaring down at them menacingly.

"Well what do you have to say for yourselves!""

"Minerva, I think you're being a bit hasty in jumping to the conclusion that these 4 gentlemen were the perpetrators," came the voice of none other than Harry Potter.

They had never been more grateful to see him, but knew he was fighting a losing battle.

"Yes Minerva. Innocent until proven guilty," added his girlfriend Hermione Granger.

"But these are the biggest troublemakers in the school. Who else could it have been?"

"As head of Gryffindor you must know by now, that Slytherin is by no means a popular house. It could have been any of them."

"Yes…but…" she spluttered. She had no proof otherwise but was determined to punish them no matter.

Sensing this Hermione said, "and we have concrete proof that these 4 didn't pull this prank."

All four Marauders looked at her incredulously.

"Oh yes? And what is that?"

"Well after dinner we invited them to come to our rooms to discuss our latest assignment, which they were having trouble with. They stayed up working until well after midnight and then we personally walked them back to their rooms. The couldn't have don't it yesterday as they were at Hogsmeade all day and with us all night. And they certainly couldn't have done it previously because I know they do not have the skills to set up a timed spell. Therefore it is impossible for them to have done this."

McGonnagal gaped at her. She could not very well ignore this teacher's evidence, nor could she dispute it. She turned to the Marauders, "You are very lucky that you have such good teachers. You are free to go. But if I find one shred of evidence that you pulled this prank. You will receive detentions for the rest of your lives!" and with that she walked away.

The four boys turned to their DADA teachers. They both just smiled and walked away, not expecting any praise or thanks.

It was now undisputable. They had the coolest teachers in the world!


	8. Sneaking and Suspicions

Sorry about the wait but I went back to school today. It was so fun; I loved seeing my friends again. It is bloody hot over here (we're in the middle of Summer btw). 

It's Australia day tomorrow (26th of Janurary), but I don't know what we're doing. Probably just a BBQ with family friends.

Well it's now Feburary 16th. It was my brother's birthday on Valentines day and I made this totally awesome cake!

I was beginning to wonder if there were any boys on this site, I haven't come across any and I want to know if there actually were any at all here. 

Another thing is that I was wondering if I was the only teenager on this site? How old are you all? I know that sounds a bit paedophiliac so I was just wondering if you could put an age group- under 18, early 20's, late-twenties, 30's or older. I'm under 18 in case you were wondering. Don't answer if you don't feel comfortable, really, I'm just curious.

Also very few people have been reviewing my story (compared to the people that have read it (it's like less than 2) its really quiet depressing and I really love reading all your comments. If you like it please take like 20 seconds to review I don't care if it's inarticulate, full of mistakes and only 1 sentence long, it means a lot to me that you can be bothered to do it. Please keep reading and start reviewing lol!

As to some people's comments about people not noticing the similarity between Harry and James this is my excuse. I did mention it in the 1st or 2nd chapter but I said that he was strangely familiar. I don't think Harry will look incredibly like his father due to the following: he is older, he is taller (in my story), he is more built from training, his hair is longer, he has his lightening scar and from years of fighting in battles he probably has many others that would change his face. The last thing is that he has seen lots of things and done lots of things that made him grow up quickly so he would definitely seem more mature. This topic is a major feature of this chapter so I hope it satisfies all of my disgruntled reviewers.

I have actually been converted to HarryGinny shipping. I know, I know, all of those people who reviewed were right. I will, however not be changing this story because it's too hard. But look for a HG story from me in the future.

Love 

Bee.

Lessons on progressive magic continued and majority of the class progressed well. Lily's friends and the Marauders could all make their roses bloom and had moved on to more experienced stuff such as casting a shield charm around an object so that it would only admit certain people, while most of the class were still perfecting their roses.

A girl in Hufflepuff was still unable to make the rose open, so she ended up with a very small rose ball full to bursting point, literally, with rose petals. So that after about 10 seconds it would explode and shower the class with the red flower.

Compared to her the other students were doing quite well. Most people had it down, but for a few people concentrating on all the parts that had to grow was too much, so they would end up with a huge rose on a tiny stem, or a huge stem with a bud on the top.

By the end of October everyone in the class could do it perfectly and therefore all passed the class.

It was early in November when Harry stood up and announced to the class that they would be starting work on boggarts.

"Now first of all we will be conquering Hermione's boggart, because it's easiest. There is a boggart in that trunk over there and each couple of days a new person will face the boggart and we will learn to fight whatever they fear the most. Ready to go 'Mione?"

"Yep sure Harry," she stepped up to the trunk and waved her hand to open it.

Professor Dumbledore unfolded himself from the trunk. He looked angry.

"Miss Granger!" he boomed. "You are in serious trouble! All your NEWTs and OWLs have been revoked which means that you have failed EVERY CLASS! You are an abominable teacher and YOU ARE FIRED!"

She stared at him in horror while the class looked on in disbelief.

"Riddikulus!"

The boggart was forced back into its trunk and the lid slammed and locked.

"Now we all know how to beat that particular fear don't we class? Study hard and listen to your teachers," Harry said laughingly.

The class chuckled appreciatively, all save the Slytherins who didn't really like their new teachers, but were too scared to say or do anything to their faces.

"Harry have you checked the time recently?" asked Prof. Granger.

"What why?"

"It's 2:29, this class finishes in 1 minute."

"Right well it seems that's all we have time for. Pack up your books. For homework I want you all to revise everything we have done in class so far. That includes the Unforgivables and Progressive Magic. There will be a test after the holidays so this really is important revision, but you have a few weeks to do it so don't rush yourselves."

The class groaned collectively. Harry and Hermione were fairly lenient, but they still liked teasing their professors. It was the running joke that they were tough but everyone knew that they were two of the best.

"Quit your whining," laughed Hermione. "And get out of here."

They took that as a dismissal and left.

The next day they tackled Harry's greatest fear: dementors.

They learnt the incantation and a few people were able to produce silvery wisps without facing a boggart. They were all very frustrated and tired as the lesson was drawing to a close.

"I've never even heard of this spell before, and I've never seen it work, so how do I know that it does what you're saying it does?" drawled Lucius Malfoy from the back of the classroom.

A few of the Slytherins laughed and even some of the other students looked doubtful. What he said was true but they didn't think that their teachers would trick them like that.

"Mr. Malfoy," retorted Hermione. "You will kindly keep your rude opinions to yourself."

He didn't look the slightest bit mollified or satisfied that his question had been answered.

"Of course it works!" said Harry angrily. "If you spent more time practising the spell and less time complaining then maybe you would be able to perform it!"

"Can you even do it?" he sneered.

"Excuse me!"

"I said, Sir, can you perform the patronus charm?"

Hermione answered him this time, "Of course he can. How could we teach it if we couldn't even perform it?"

He wasn't even ashamed. Lucius was even worse than the future Malfoy!

"Then do it!" he challenged.

Harry shrank on the inside but his exterior stayed perfectly neutral, the way he had been taught to keep it. He couldn't risk the Marauders recognising his patronus charm, but then again all stags looked fairly similar and he didn't want to back down from a challenge from a Malfoy.

He debated with himself for a while. He couldn't risk blowing his cover but his insides were boiling. He chanced a glance at Lucius. He was glaring at his teacher daring him to perform the task, looking smug and sure of himself. He didn't want to let the Malfoys hold it over his head for the rest of his life.

"Of course," he replied smoothly.

He quickly thought of his most recent happiest memory. He remembered helping the Marauders and as he liked to think of them, The Marauderettes with some school work. They had been having difficulty with some transfiguration homework and come to their DADA professors for help. They had stayed up late talking and working. When they had gotten too hungry to keep going they packed it all away and had a D&M (deep and meaningful) over some hot chocolate in the school kitchens.

He remembered the feeling it had given him and poured all of this into his patronus.

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

A silvery stag erupted from the end of Harry's extended wand and galloped around the classroom.

There were many "ooohs" and "ahhhs" from the students. The smug look was immediately wiped of Malfoy's face and all of the Slytherins looked disappointed.

However at the front of the classroom, 4 boys were sitting at their desks staring avidly at Harry. It was interesting that he had the same last name as James. It was alarming that they looked like they were twins, but it was near unbelievable that Harry's patronus was the same as James's animagi form.

Up near the desks these looks of incredulity were noticed by the other teacher who did some very quick thinking and produced a patronus of her own.

The attention was drawn away from the graceful stag, which faded into nothingness, to the otter gambolling playfully around the classroom. It too soon disappeared and they were left with 2 smug teachers, 7 embarrassed Slytherins and 4 alarmed Marauders.

They continued the lesson by practising their patronuses. A few people made recognisable animals after a while but they didn't move around at all and left very quickly. They marauders used all this mayhem to stage a very private conversation.

"..it's weird enough that he looks like James, but I mean a stag patronus? It's so undeniably James that it's hard to believe that it's coincidence anymore," said Moony. They were all speaking in hushed tones to ensure they were not overheard.

"I've always thought he was a bit suspicious," piped up Peter. None of them believed him though. He was too thick to realise anything that wasn't explained in great detail and they all knew he was the least liked by Harry and Hermione. While they reserved a soft spot for James, Sirius and Remus they often tended to overlook Peter and he was a bit jealous.

"I thought he was our friend," said James. "I like the guy but he hasn't exactly told us that much about himself. Sure he let us ask all those questions but what did we really find out? That he wears Armani robes?"

"True," said Sirius. "He just turns up in the middle of a storm one night, scares the crap out of all of us then becomes the best teacher we ever had. For all we know he could be working for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!"

"Dumbledore wouldn't let them work here if they weren't to be trusted."

They all ignored Moony's sensibility.

"Them! Exactly!" exclaimed Sirius. "What about Hermione?"

James looked thoughtful for a moment until a mispronounced patronus caused a book to come smashing into his head.

After he had recovered and yelled at Jessica who just giggled with her friends he turned back to Sirius, Peter and Remus,

"She hasn't done anything wrong has she? She's not suspicious at all. I've never even heard the name Granger before have you?"

"No. But she's hot!" said Peter.

They all just looked at him with disgust.

"I agree with James. Hermione hasn't done anything wrong but Harry is very suspicious. You're not related, but you look the same, have the same last name and now this! He has a stag patronus! I can't think of any explanation! At all!" exclaimed Moony.

"And that's a first for you," added Sirius. Then his face changed and he suddenly looked mischievous and cunning. "But as to our current situation I believe I have a solution. We have the map and the cloak do we not?"

"Sirius," said Remus warningly. "You're not suggesting what I think you're suggesting are you?"

"Who's suggesting what?" said Peter dumbly.

"I think it's a great idea Padfoot," James was really getting into the idea.

"It's too dangerous!" said Remus, desperate to persuade his friends from doing it. "Spying on teachers! Let alone people who trust us and have become out friends. What do you think they would do if we got caught?"

"Calm down Moony," said James.

"Yeah we'd have the map. It's not like we would get caught or anything!" added Sirius.

"You said it yourself mate, it's too hard to believe to be a coincidence. We need answers. This obviously concerns me so I think I have a right to find out a few things."

There was a bit of a silence while each of the boys was lost in his own thoughts before they were brought back down to earth by Hermione's voice, "All right guys you've done very well today. Next lesson we'll be finishing up with the Dementor boggart. Class Dissmissed!"

As they were walking through the door with books in hand, James leaned over and whispered in Moony's ear, "Are you in or not mate?"

He pondered it for a second and then,

"I'm in."

"Argh you oaf! Get off my foot!"

"I'm sorry but I don't want my foot seen and there was no where else to put it!"

The invisibility cloak had been enlarged to fit all 4 Marauders adequately, but nowhere near comfortably. They could not make it any bigger because it could only stretch to a certain size before it lost its invisibility qualities. Because James's cloak was of the finest quality it had stretched a surprising amount, enough to cover 4 almost fully grown men anyway.

Said four men were currently hobbling down the hall way to the teacher's rooms. They knew where they were from their scouting for the map, but had never been able to figure out exactly which teacher slept where.

They had left dinner early tonight and the plan was to wait, invisible, around the doors and until Harry and Hermione showed up and go into their rooms so they would know which rooms they slept in. They would follow them in and look around and hope that one of them would let something slip when they thought that no one was there. If they left or went to bed then they would snoop around a bit.

"Shhh! I can hear some one coming."

"…took my treacle tart and ate it. I mean how rude!"

"Of course dear," came a reassuring voice from the darkness.

It could only be them.

They stood in silence for a while waiting for them to become visible. After about thirty seconds they rounded the bend and began moving towards the portrait of a phoenix at the very end of the hallway.

They were chatting lightly between the two of them until they reached entrance to their rooms and paused.

The marauders, whom were standing incredibly close by were waiting for the door to open so they could hurry in before it shut. Their teachers didn't speak the password however but stood around and continued their conversation.

The Marauders attuned their ears to what Harry and Hermione were saying,

"I'm really enjoying Hogwarts 'Mione. Especially 7th year classes! It's really fun being a teacher."

They exchanged a long, significant (and suspicious) look.

"I agree. It's really great," they were no longer conversing in light casual tones. Every word sounded scripted and the Marauders were beginning to get suspicious but there was no way of moving now. Not when they were so close.

"I think one of the best things is the trust between the students and the teachers. It's such a tight knit community," he remarked.

"Oh my gosh Harry!" she continued in that incredibly fake voice. "Did you hear something just over there!"

"Come out guys," commanded Harry in a bored tone.

"You knew we were there?" asked James.

"And you knew it was us?" asked Sirius

"Of course we did!" said Hermione. They were beginning to understand the severity of the situation. Their gentle natured teacher very rarely got angry… especially with them.

"Did you honestly think that you could get into our rooms without us knowing?" Harry sounded incredulous.

"And what were you hoping to find out? Information about our private lives?"

The Marauders took it that these were rhetorical questions, as they weren't giving them time to answer and so remained silent.

Harry and Hermione continued in their rant. Harry went first.

"We are teachers. We have a right to a private life just like everyone else!"

"We don't need to disclose every aspect of it to you, nor are we going to!"

"We have a right to privacy!" shouted Harry

"And by attempting this you are violating our right!"

"We thought there was some kind of trusting relationship between us, but apparently we were mistaken."

The Marauders were feeling incredible ashamed by this point. All wishing that they could sink into the floor never to be seen again.

"What were you going to do! Listen to our conversation? Snoop around in our stuff!" asked Hermione.

"Sir. We just…"

"DON"T TALK JUST LISTEN!"

Hermione took over for him, "Do you even realise how serious this is? We could throw you out of our class for this. Maybe even the school. Is that what you want? Hmmm?"

"Of course not!"

"Then why did you do it?" Harry was obviously still angry and it was a rather scary sight. "Why did you want to spy on us! We were not only your teachers but also your friends! You betrayed our trust!"

"Haven't we been open enough with you. Sure we haven't told you every detail of our lives, but that's our right. We are allowed to keep secrets. God knows you lot keep a fair few!" Hermione looked equally upset.

"This is so insulting! You think that two certified aurors could be fooled by four teenagers in an invisibility cloak? Did you honestly think that you could get away with it?"

"Sneak into our rooms! Nose around in our business! And then tell all your little classmates!"

"No! We…"

"We what? We what! We don't trust you? We don't like you? Or we are four horrible boys who enjoy upsetting other people? WE WHAT!" He screamed.

Hermione looked near tears and Harry was breathing heavily.

The boys looked between the two of them, both of whom refused to meet their eyes.

They all realised now how incredibly stupid this had been. It had started out as an innocent quest for answers but now they realised that all they were doing was invading others privacy. Others who had been nothing but extremely kind to them.

"We're sorry," whispered James.

"You should be!" Hermione said furiously to the floor. Death staring it as though asking it for answers.

All 6 of them stood in silence for a minute, each contemplating their own thoughts.

"You do realised that you'll have to be punished for this," whispered Hermione throatily. Tears really had gathered in her eyes now. She looked utterly broken and Harry not much better.

There was another pause. Then Hermione and Harry suddenly looked up and at each other as though communicating with their eyes.

Harry breathed a heavy sigh, "She's right."

"We're taking you to McGonnagal's office right now."

They both stood to their full and rather impressive heights and looked into the eyes of their students. They were full of guilt and pain. Traces of anger lingered in Harry's sparkling green eyes and Hermione's incredibly large chocolate brown ones were still shining with, rapidly disappearing tears.

The Marauders had been standing in shocked silence since Hermione had announced that they were going to be punished. It had never happened to them before. Sure they had gotten a few (hundred) detentions before but never from Harry and Hermione. They were close enough to be family. They let them get away anything, pranks, rudeness, anything.

"W-W-W-What?" stuttered Sirius.

"You heard us. This can't go unpunished. You need to learn that you are only students. While you are here and for the rest of your life you need to respect your elders."

"But-But-But…" protested Peter.

"But what?" said Harry.

"You can't-," started Peter before Remus elbowed him in the ribs.

"Good move Mr. Lupin," said Harry with none of his usual charm or jape.

The Marauders bad mood became blacker. The 2 teachers had not called any of the students (save the Slytherins) by their last name in weeks and weeks.

"Mr. Black, Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin, Mr. Pettigrew, please follow Professor Granger, I will be bringing up the rear."

None of them wanted to believe that this was happening. Not only were they now being called by last names by their two favourite professors, but also having to address said professors formally. Things had gone from bad to worse and they weren't getting out of this one in a hurry.

They trooped down the hall in silence all the way to the Transfiguration teacher's office. She was staying up late grading papers. The Marauders did not even bother asking how Harry and Hermione knew that. It was late enough for everyone to be in bed. They were like four small naughty children that had just been smacked for sneaking biscuits; they weren't about to do it again in a hurry.

The 6 of them filed into the room to be greeted by a startled and not too pleased Professor, "Harry. Hermione," she nodded at the both of them. "What can I do for you this evening?" it was clear that there was no need to ask though. The look in her eyes showed that she had seen it enough to realise that the Marauders were in big trouble.

"These four," answered Hermione calmly enough, but not quite pleasantly. "Were just caught trying to sneak into our rooms."

Apparently McGonnagall was trying out the stunned mullet routine. Her eyebrows had become part of her fringe, her mouth was hanging wide open and she didn't look like recovering anytime soon.

After waiting for a moment Harry cleared his throat loudly.

"Oh yes quite right professor. I was simply alarmed that this has happened. In all my years at Hogwarts as both a teacher and a student I have never heard of anything like this. I simply can't fathom why it would occur between some of Hogwarts best students and the two most popular teachers. Would any of you care to explain?" she looked pointedly at the Marauders.

They all suddenly found great interest in their shoes or fingernails but the interest of these body parts wasn't enough to persuade any of them to talk.

"No?" she asked. None of them answered her but continued to fidget. "Professors would you happen to have any idea as to when this occurred?"

"Many. Each as unlikely as the next," answered Harry. He looked truly puzzled.

Hermione sighed and rubbed her brow, "I don't get it. But that doesn't change the fact that I'm tired and I want to go to bed."

"I agree. I'll leave the punishment to you Professor?" She nodded. "Then it's settled. Minerva might I have a word before we leave?"

Harry and Minerva moved to the back corner of the room and had a quick whispered conversation.

"All right 'Mione let's go. We'll see you four in class tomorrow."

"What'd you say to Minerva Harry?" Hermione asked as they walked along the corridor back to their rooms.

"I was suggesting a punishment."

"Oh yes? And what was that?" she queried.

"That they be stripped of their powers as prefects, banned from the Quidditch team, lose 100 points each and have detention every night for the rest of the term."

"Oh my gosh Harry. Bloody hell! Don't you think that's a bit over the top!"

"Hermione you were as angry as I was. They need to learn their lesson."

"Please tell me Minerva isn't going to do all that to them? PLEASE!"

"No, she said it would be way too much."

"What is she going to do?"

"She wouldn't say. But she did say that it would be harsh enough for them."

"I hope she didn't pay too much attention to you Harry," she said shaking her head sadly. "I feel bad for those four. We would have done exactly the same thing in their situation and you know it."

He sighed and shook his head. Hermione spoke the password and they stepped inside their rooms.

They conjured up 2 mugs of hot chocolate and sat on the couch in silence until they fell asleep where they sat.

"This is not happening. This is not happening!"

"Face it Sirius," sighed Remus "This is happening."

"But we didn't even get into their rooms. All we did was stand outside in an invisibility cloak," moaned James.

"Ya. And for doing absolutely nothing we got detention for the rest of the term. EVERYNIGHT!" said Peter.

"Don't forget the 100 house points off," reminded Remus.

"And that's not even half of what Professor Potter recommended!" said James.

"What is so terrible about listening to a conversation?" asked Sirius.

"No quidditch, and no more prefect perks? I'd say it was pretty terrible!" whined James

"Come on guys. Maybe they were just upset because of the whole trust thing," reasoned Peter.

"No. I really think Sirius and James are onto something. What could be so absolutely dreadful about listening to a conversation… unless they were talking about something that no one is meant to know about. They must be hiding something. We've always suspected they had secrets. That's the reason we _tried _to spy on them in the first place," said Remus.

"And look where that got us," said James. It would've been a joke had the situation not been so serious.

"They had no qualms about punishing us to an inch of our lives," said peter. "Maybe we're not as close as we thought we were?"

"Yeah mate. You're right. If we were truly friends, they couldn't possibly have anything to hide." Said Sirius

"What kind of person is so desperate to keep a secret they'll do anything to prevent people finding out?" said Remus. He was really getting into the swing of things. Making lists and reasoning was his way of solving mysteries, and this was one problem they were determined to crack.

"A spy?" ventured James.

"Maybe they're spying for the ministry. They could be aurors," suggested Sirius.

"Nah," James. "My dad's an auror and I've never heard of these two before, I've met most of them when I go in to see dad. I reckon he would've told me if there was something undercover going on this year. I'm pretty sure they don't work for the Ministry."

"All right. So they're not spies," concluded Moony. "Who else could they be?"

"They might not even be teachers. They could be in trouble in the law or something and asked Dumbledore if they could hang out here for a year," said Peter.

"Yeah that's a thought. How might they be in trouble? I mean they seem OK, if a bit suspicious."

"They could be in the black market or something? Both of them seem pretty rich, and I know for a fact you don't get that way off a teacher's salary," said Sirius.

There was silence for a while as each of the boys tried to think of more ways one could be in trouble with the law. They weren't getting very far.

"Come one guys think," urged James.

"Ummm…" said Sirius.

"I've got no idea," said Peter giving up completely.

"What would make them go into hiding? Who is the ministry looking for at the moment?"

The though occurred to James in a moment. Everything clicked into place. He breathed the word quietly but Sirius, Peter and Remus heard it clearly, "Deatheaters."

"What? No! They can't be! Dumbledore would never hire Deatheaters to teach!"

"He can't know everything Moony. And they fooled everyone else in the school too."

"But they just can't be. They can't!"

"You know," added Sirius. "I'm beginning to agree with James!"

"It all makes sense. The secrecy, the riches, the love of black! Everything we've ever known about them fits."

Moony looked troubled. He was thinking back to all his memories with Harry and Hermione and was finding, just as Sirius and Peter were, that James was right, it did indeed make everything clearer.

"You're right," he sighed. "We're being taught by two Deatheaters!"

"We have to be on out guard now that we know," cautioned James. "And we can't let them know that we found out. Look what they did when they caught us _trying _to snoop. Imagine what'll happen if they know that we know their secret."

"You're right," agreed Moony. "And that's why we've got to stop talking about it. We don't know that this room is safe."

Peter yawned, "I'm going to sleep. See you in the morning guys."

They crawled into bed and called out their greetings through the darkness.

"Night Moony."

"See you in the morning Paddy!"

"Don't call me that! … Jamesie…"

"Shut up you two. Sleep tight Wormtail."

And although they were lying in their beds silent as night. Not one of them slept for hours yet. All four boys lay awake. Lost in their own thoughts. Each revolving around the same two people. People with a terrible secret who ment great misfortune to them all.

REVIEW!

My internet itsn't working so I'm gonna have to save this to a disk and upload it at school. While I'm there I'll check my reviews so don't be offended if I haven't responded to yours yet, I probably haven't read it. Lol

Dinner is calling me!


	9. A black owl with a black letter

Hey guys! Omg sorry its taken me so long to update. I feel really bad about it, but ive had like 208357 assignments and tests and im in the choir and we've had about 2093587 rehersals so sorry again.

**Being the maths geek that I am, I just couldn't help but to do this so here it goes. I worked out that less that 0.007 of my readers have been reviewing. Thanks to those that have been reviewing but I expect about 100 reviews for this chappy! lol**

**I hope you are all enjoying the story, on with the show! xoxo**

* * *

"Sirius?" No answer. "Sirius! SIRIUS!"

Sirius jumped visibly and turned to look at his gorgeous brunette DADA teacher. "Sorry Hermione," he squeaked.

Hermione was confused but she didn't allow her features to change at all. Sirius had sounded terrified and was now sharing suspicious communicative glances with his fellow marauders. Three days had passed since the snooping incident, and because of the weekend this was the first time Hermione had seen any of them. Harry hadn't been up in time for breakfast and was still missing despite it being half way through 1st period.

"I was asking you Sirius, what are the 3 main elements of progressive magic?" they were currently doing revision on their last topic before moving onto the next in a week.

"Um I don't know?"

She sighed and turned away from him. None of the marauders were currently up to their usual standard of concentration this morning. She supposed it was rememants from their encounter on Friday night, but they back of her mind told her there was something else.

Lily was waving her hand frantically in the air and Hermione gestured to her with her back still turned. Some one screamed suddenly and unexpectedly.

Her reflexes immediately set in and she turned to face the class again with her wand drawn.

Most of the class was looking in one direction and she followed their gazes to see Sirius with his hand over his mouth and the rest of his friends looking absolutely horrified. She could see no immediate threat so she lowered her wand. "Is there something the matter Mr. Black?"

"H-how. D-did. How did you do that?" she had no idea what he was talking about.

"What is causing you and your friends such distress pray tell?"

Sirius seemed incapable of further speech so James spoke for him, "You knew Lily had her hand in the air and you weren't even looking!"

"Mr. Potter, if you had been paying anny attention this year so far, you would know that both Harry and myself have excellent perifary vision and are able to sense thing behind our backs. Please stop these stupid interruptions and let me continue with the lesson.

She huffed and resumed firing revision questions at random to members of the class.

"Lucius (luscious hahaha). Would you please tell me what you ne-?" she was cut off as the door banged open and someone stepped into the room.

At the sudden noise and movement, the Marauders all screamed again and looked around like wild rabbits.

Hermione sighed and rubbed her brow. Harry shot her a questioning look from the doorway. She waved her hand to indicate that she would tell him later.

"Sorry I'm so late,"he announced to the class. "I slept in and _someone _didn't wake me!" he said while looking accusatorially at Hermione.

"I did!" she exclaimed huffily. "but you hexed me in your sleep the fist time I tried and I didn't fancy ending up in the hospital wing first thing on a Monday morning!"

The class laughed lightly (save for the Marauders who were cowering away from Harry in fear). "Awww sory 'Mione," Harry apologised to his girlfriend while giving her a small hug.

The class continued in much the same way, and as it was only a single, half an hour later the class were dismissed and leaving the classroom. Surprisingly though the Marauders were the first out the door. Though this was normal for any other class, they usually hung around and talked to their teachers afterwards.

Harry, who hadn't experienced the marauders strange behaviour yet, was puzzled. But Hermione sat on his desk while he sat at it and explained everything to him.

Meanwhile outside the classroom, 4 very suspicious looking boys were hurrying away from the class speaking quickly in hushed tones.

"Well I think that went quite well," said Sirius Black.

"Sirius are you serious!" exclaimed Moony. His friends all furtively looked around and shushed him. "Sorry. But we were so sus. If they find out that we know that they are," he dropped his voice even more "Deatheaters. Goodness knows what they could do!"

"What did I do Moony?" whined Sirius

"Well screaming twice didn't help!"

"Be fair Remus," interjected James, "We all screamed."

"Ok. Then we all need to work on our act. We have to pretend like we haven't found them out."

They all agreed then went their separate ways. Remus to Arithmancy, Peter to Muggle Studies and James and Sirius to History of Magic.

* * *

"So what do you think is up with them?" Harry asked 'the brightest witch of her age' that night in their rooms.

"Well, all my senses are telling me that they are scared, but that's so ridiculous I can't believe it!"

"Yeah I don't get it either. Maybe its about Friday?" Hermione wondered.

"I don't think so. I mean we're over it aren't we? We sent them the letter apologising. And I haven't said anything since then have you?"

"no I haven't. but I don't think it's just one of us. They reacted the same way to both of us. Or maybe it was something other than us that's got them on the edge"

"Its weird. Do you think we should talk to them about it?"

"I think we'd only scare them away more," said Harry. "Give it a few days and if they haven't calmed down by them, we'll ask them."

"Good plan babe," hermione said with a giggle and then they spent the night doing things that this author cannot be bothered writing about because it has nothing to do with the plot. Said author hopes that her fabulous readers will use their sick yet brilliant minds to invent their own scenes. Hehehe

* * *

The next morning, the DADA duo sat at the far end of the staff table in front of the Gryffindor house table. Hermione gazed out at her pupils from the red house while she calmly ate her breakfast. On her left Harry was guzzling down his breakfast like there was no tomorrow. He was better than Ron though she had to admit, but he had all the failings of a boy, including poor table manners.

Her eyes fell on a group of four boys a short way away. They still looked shirty but nothing compared to yesterday. She hoped that whatever was bothering them was getting better. On closer inspection though she noticed that all four of them had dark bags under their eyes as though they had had little sleep. She knew that look well. she felt sorry for them. When James looked up at her she smiled reassuringly at him. He forced a smile back, but it was very brief and almost immediately put his head down again and fell into hushed conversation with his four friends.

She was a little bit hurt. Usually James would have yelled for her to come down and sit with them or at least made a longer eye contact. _What could I possibly have done? she thought._

She was about to voice her concern to Harry when something else caught her eye. A jet black owl was steadily making its way across the hall towards her and Harry. It was enormous and regal looking with sharp black claws and amber/gold eyes that bore right into her own. Tied to its leg was an all to familiar black parchment envelope sealed with a red wax seal. Her breath caught in her throat. There was only one man that she knew of that wrote on black parchment and sealed his parchment with that particular insignia.

She hit Harry on the arm to gain his attention and he too looked directly at the owl.

She felt him tense up besides her.

Most of the people in the Great Hall were now watching the owl's steady progress towards the staff table. There was no doubt in anyone's mind as to who they owl was to deliver its message to. It landed gracefully before the two teachers without knocking over a single plate or cup which was unusual for an owl. With shaking hands Hermione reached across the table to pull the letter off its leg. Most of the people had lost interest in the owl and gone back to their conversations and/or meals. Four boys at the Gryffindor table however had their eyes trained on the pair the whole time.

Harry tried to break the seal but due to his lack of nails was unable to break the thick glob of dried wax. Becoming impatient Hermione huffed and snatched it out of his hands quickly opening the envelope with her perfectly manicured nails.

_Dear Mr. Harry Potter and Miss. Hermione Granger,_

_I have become aware of your presence at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry I must confess that I find myself impressed. I have heard of you talents and exploits from certain, shall we say, trustworthy sources but I have never heard of you before. I was certain that I had accounted for anyone of value in this country. Never the less, I have found out about you now and will waste no further time with pleasantries._

_Myself and my loyal band of deatheaters have taken it upon ourselves to rid the world of unworthy filth such as Mudbloods and Muggles. Take this letter as an invitation to join out cause. I believe that the both of you possess such skills and talents that would be valuable to us. You are wasting your time with that muggle loving fool Dumbledore. There is no future for you at Hogwarts, nor anywhere on that side. Save both yourselves now and join me. _

_If you wish to join us, and I suspect you will, the deatheater ranks and myself will welcome you with open arms. _

_Regards, Lord Voldemort._

Hermione wrinkled her nose in disgust. Harry picked the letter of the table and scrunched it up. "That jerk!" he said heatedly. "Gods I hate him!"

"Don't worry love," she said soothingly while rubbing his back. "I've got some parchment right here."

"Parchment?" he said skeptically.

"Of course dearest," she replied smoothly. "For a letter back!"

They both smirked slyly.

Harry grabbed the quill and began the letter with Hermione giving her much appreciated input along the way.

_Dear Asshole, _

_Please never bother us again. Your offer was as unwanted as heat rash in ones reproductive areas. You will fall and both of us will dance on your grave. (if you even get one) _

_In demonstrating your hatred of muggles and muggleborns you seem to have overlooked a very important fact. Hermione is a muggle-born and Harry's mother was as well. Both of these women are amazing witches and you are not worthy to kiss their feet. And how could you have forgotten that you yourself are a half-blood and were raised in as a muggle, Tom?_

_Have a nice day,_

_Love Hermione Granger and Harry Potter._

They both smiled in contentment as one of the school owls carried their greetings from the head table the Volemort.

However down at the Gryffindor 4 boys were doing anything but smiling.

"I tell you I've seen that exact thing before!" said Sirius.

"What?" asked Peter cautiously

"A big black owl carrying a letter written in silver ink on black parchment!"

"Where did you see it?" asked James

"At my house in Grimmauld Place!"

"What does that mean Sirius?" said Remus slowly, although it was already beginning to dawn on him what it meant.

"It means that our beloved teachers are corresponding with Voldemort!"

* * *

This chapter was going to go on for a lot longer than this, but I haven't updated in months and I really don't feel like typing anymore today, so ill post it right now and write the rest of this to post in a couple of weeks max (I hope).

Oh well I hope you all enjoyed it so PPPPPLLLLLLLEEEEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Review or ill die lol.

Love Bee


	10. The Battle

Hey sorry this has taken so long, but hey im lazy. most of my author notes are really long but they only thing ive thort of to say is this

i really hate it when authors just abandon a story and never say anything, it just really gives me the shits so i promise I'll never do that. If i ever abandon this story (which i wont) i will definitely post an authors note telling everyone so even if it takes me 3 months to update you'll always know that i am going to.

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PLEASE REVIEW!

* * *

This chapter is dedicated to Charmfan! who have me the encouragement to get the chapter written, so you can all thank her! Xoxo

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"Oh my god oh my god oh my god!" squealed Sirius, running around outside the Transfiguration rooms shaking his hands in a very homosexual manner. (Not that there's anything wrong with that)

"Sirius…" Said James

"What, what what!"

"SHUT UP!" yelled everyone.

He stopped and they all began walking away from the rooms. They had just completed a period of transfiguration and as such, the end of the day had come.

"Look Paddy," whispered Moony. "Harry and Hermione are already suspicious, so just leave your freaking out until we get back to our dorm!"

Sirius performed an odd little hoppy thing in his anxious state and the four of them hurried along the corridor towards the fat lady on the seventh floor.

* * *

Meanwhile… on the other side of the castle Harry and Hermione were discussing a similar topic.

"I just don't get it 'Mione," said the-boy-who-lived. "I mean, no one else seemed freaked so it must just be an 'us and them' thing."

"Look Harry, I know you're worried because they're all such good friends/fathers of yours, but we have other things to worry about."

"Such as…"

"Typical," Hermione muttered under her breath. "Like the whole us being teachers and having to plan lessons and mark assignments, and then the whole VOLDEMORT SENDING US AN INVITATION THING!"

"Ooooookkkkk…" said Harry. PMS cough cough

Hermione sniffed and whacked him over the head with Amanda Gillwarts essay on dangerous water creatures. "Well you can be a jerk all you want Potter, but I am seriously worried about it."

"Sorry babe," he said apologetically. "But I really don't think we have anything to worry about."

His girlfriend raised an eyebrow sceptically.

"Sure he's Voldemort," Harry explained. "But he's like Voldemort minus 20is years, I don't think he's that much of a worry."

"Silly boy."

Harry laughed, and Hermione giggled.

* * *

"I hereby call to order the 105th meeting of the Marauders. The members pres-"

"Oh shut up Moony, lets just get down to business," interrupted Sirius.

"Hmph."

"So pretty much, we've got evidence that the DADA teachers are Deatheaters-" said James.

"Wait just a second James," said Moony. "Exactly what evidence do we have?"

"Traitor!" yelled Sirius, pointing a finger at the teenage werewolf.

"Sirius calm down," said Peter speaking up for the first time. He was naturally nervous but whenever his friends mentioned death eaters he seemed even more so.

"All I'm saying guys is that if we were to go up to Dumbledore right now, with all of our 'evidence' he wouldn't believe us for a second. We need hard proof."

"What do you mean hard proof?" asked Sirius. "We've got all the proof we need!"

"Such as?" asked James sarcastically.

"Their reactions to the whole snooping around their rooms thing and then the fact that they got a letter!" exclaimed Sirius triumphantly.

James and Remus shared a look. Peter was being ignored…again.

"If a getting angry and receiving a letter is proof of death eater activities, I'd say that half of they school follow He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!"

Sirius spluttered. "But- but- but- but-" finally his shoulders slumped and he realised how ridiculous their accusations were.

"But you still think they're deatheaters right?"

"Oh absolutely!" said James while Remus nodded his head intensely.

"All we're saying is that if we want _other_ people to know about them, we need more evidence to convince them." Said Moony attempting to placate Sirius.

"Well there's not much we can do is there? Other than walking up to them and saying "We know that you're deatheaters, and we want you to turn yourselves in!" which I don't think would go down very well," said Remus, half-joking.

"Wouldn't go down very well!" exclaimed Sirius. "They'd kill us and then feed our bodies to the giant squid!"

All off the boys nodded gravely.

"Well look what happened last time we tried to get concrete evidence. Detention every night of the term (that didn't actually happen, mainly because I forgot about it until right now, but lets just pretend that the term is over and they did it ok?) and 100 points off! I'm not doing that again!" James reminded them.

"Hell no!" said Sirius. "I swear my arms still hurt from scrubbing those damn trophies!"

"Quit your bitching Sirius," joked James. Then his voice became more serious, "But I honestly don't think there's anything we can do. We can't prove it and we can't confront them."

"What the bloody hell are we meant to do then?" asked Sirius.

"Nothing."

"What Moony?"

"Do nothing?"

"How will that help the situation?"

"Look," Moony explained. "Like James said we can't prove it and we cant confront them, so lets just bide our time."

"Yeasts," hissed Sirius. 'Perfect, and then when the moment is right we will strike!" He slapped the bed spread, startling his friends. "LIKE COBRAS!"

"Oh my god," whispered Remus, shaking his head at his friends antics.

* * *

The next morning at breakfast, the marauders stumbled into the room bleary eyed and droopy limbed (ok that was lame). They had stayed up late talking and coming up with better methods of hiding their suspicious. (Which mostly involved Sirius stuffing socks down his shirt and asking James questions in a high pitched voice while James lied his ass off)

Their apparent lack of sleep didn't go unnoticed by our two favourite time travellers who, up at the staff table were talking quietly.

"Harry, I know you want to do the whole 'take action now' thing, but I hardly think that's going to help the situation."

"But 'Mione!" Harry whined.

"No buts!" she quipped while her boyfriend pouted and sulked.

"Hmpf."

* * *

Breakfast was the usual hustle and bustle of teenage hormones and guzzling food until one student asked a question that spread like a wildfire through the hall:

Where was the post?

The owls usually arrived about 15 minutes before the end of breakfast and there was currently two minutes left and the students were still sitting in anticipation.

Dumbledore, never blind to the happenings of his school, rose to his feet and tapped the side of his goblet.

The Hall had never quietened so fast.

"Students, I have noticed, and it seems that you have too, that the owl post seems to have been delayed somewhat," his tone was light and he spoke with a smile, but some people picked up on the underlying worry in his words. "Breakfast has now concluded, and as usual you should all make your way to class. If you were expecting an urgent package you may-"

He broke off and gazed towards the back of the hall. After a few short moments the entire student body was following his gaze to a solitary owl flying low across the Hall.

The entire school waited with baited breath to see who would receive this owl.

It wasn't surprising to most people when the black eagle owl descended quickly infront of Harry Potter and Hermione Granger.

They opened the letter and read it together, with each line, worry became further etched into the lines of their faces. After about 20 seconds Harry arose and walked to Dumbledore. They had a hurried conversation before Harry returned to his seat.

Dumbledore rose majestically in his place and addressed the school in a calm tone of voice, "Hogwarts, is under attack!"

* * *

(wouldn't you all just hate me if I left it here)

* * *

The panic was immediate. Students began talking, some rose from their places, but there was nowhere to go. A few screams and yells were obvious above the general pandemonium and the noisy clatter of dishes falling to the floor was to be heard as well

"QUIET!" came the deep yell from the head table. Professor Potter was upon his feet and yelling at the entire hall. When the noise quietened down, which it did surprisingly quickly, he spoke again.

"Panicking isn't going to help anyone, least of all yourselves. The school is under attack by Voldemort's deatheaters. We need everyone to get organized. 6th and 7th years that do DADA and are willing to fight please assemble directly in front of me. 1st to 5th years all must follow their 7th year prefects to their house towers. Lock the doors with the most advanced charms you know and fill in a roll. Don't open the door for anything or anyone. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GO!"

Immediately people ran to where they were meant to be.

Hermione was organizing the people who had nominated to fight. There was only 23, and with Harry, Hermione and all of the teachers who were willing that only made 30. Hermione just prayed that Voldemort hadn't sent a large army.

"You 10!" she yelled, pointing at a group of Gryffindor 6th years. "Get up to that balcony above the staff table, when, no if, they come in the front doors shoot them down from your vantage point. Use mostly stunners, but if that isn't working, use your discretion."

Everyone was at their stations armed only with their wands and instructions from Harry or Hermione.

When everyone was in place the DADA pair turned to face the group before them. They were both surprised to note that Sirius, James and Remus were all standing there looking determined. If their plan went correctly, none of these innocent children would even have to look upon a deatheater today.

"OK people this is the plan," yelled Harry. "Me and Hermione are going to go outside and lock the doors behind us…"

Angry voices sounded that their favourite teachers were probably going to get themselves killed.

"Shhh," soothed Hermione softly and immediately the crowd fell silent. "We know what we're doing ok? Like Harry said, we're going to lock the doors behind us, and we hope to stop the deatheaters reaching the hall at all, but if they do, and they may, that's where all of you come in…"

The two of them spent about five minutes going through very basic battle tactics, things such as aiming to injure not kill, taking wands were possible to prevent further use and not going after a deatheater on your own.

Suddenly they both broke off at the same time.

"They're here."

* * *

Harry and Hermione gave one last smile to the crowd and then sprinted down the length of the hall. Harry threw open the doors and let Hermione pass through before closing them behind himself. They suddenly glowed with a gold light and there was a noise like a lock falling into place and everyone realised that 2 people had just sealed themselves from all help against an army of deatheaters.

"This is pathetic Hermione!" Harry yelled, elated by his return to what he loved, kicking some deatheater ass

"I agree, he sent like 20 of his lowest down minions, didn't even come himself!"

This was a bit of an exaggeration, this certainly wasn't the elite of the deatheater ranks, but Harry and Mione still had to fight to the best of their abilities to eradicate the threat.

From Harry and Hermione's points of views it was quite clear that they were winning this battle, by themselves, but inside the hall emotions were running high and every time there was a yell or a thud, the students and teachers were sure it was their beloved mentors being defeated.

* * *

"We have to help them!" yelled Lily, breaking the silence for the first time.

"She's right," Rhea said. "NO ONE, can take on an entire deatheater army by themselves."

Her and Lily exchanged a glance, then ran down to the double doors to help Harry and Hermione. They struggled with the door, but it would not budge.

"Lily, Rhea," sighed Dumbledore, "obviously they think they can fight this battle by themselves, so I suggest we let them."

"Unless of course," Prongs whispered to his 2 friends. "They aren't fighting them, just making it look like that."

"Of course, it makes perfect sense," said Moony

"What does?" asked Sirius

"We know they're deatheaters," explained James

"Yes…?"

"So why would they be fighting deatheaters?" questioned Moony

"Well they wouldn- ooooh."

"Comprehension dawns," muttered Remus under his breath.

"I say they're just using this as a distraction to pass information about they school to their little buddies," accused James angrily.

"Makes sense," said Moony, nodding his head. "I mean who _locks _themselves outside with like 1000000 deatheaters?"

"Now that doesn't make sense," said James.

"Sick bastards," growled Sirius. "Everyone's in hiding and they're out there having a good old laugh about it!"

They all looked furious.

Remus opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by the doors of the great hall banging open. Everyone was stunned for a moment, but when Dumbledore let out a blood-curdling yell and sent a stunner at the fist deatheater everyone was shaken out of their reverie.

The 6th years on the balcony shot stunners down with impressive accuracy, only ever hitting deatheaters and greatly helping their cause.

Things however were going downhill fast, a handful of students and schoolteachers couldn't do much against Voldemort's faithful servants. Just as it looked that thing were going to get ugly two of the most attractive saviours in the world ran through the door.

They had single-handedly brought down 20 deatheaters, but had not managed to stop the other 20 that sneaked into the school. They went into action immediately, cursing, hexing and screaming as they went. They were truly a fearful sight. Many deatheaters were overcome by their sheer presence and therefore made easy targets for students and teachers.

As Hermione twirled the marauders minus 1 by with the grace of a ballerina dodging spells and throwing some of her own as she went, James caught Sirius' eye. The three boys communicated their revelation in just one glance, their teachers weren't deatheaters.

They had no time to talk about it though as they had to duck a cruciatus curse aimed at their heads.

Within 10 minutes, 17 of the deatheaters were lying unconscious, or gagged and bound on the floor and all of the teachers and students stood resting near the staff table.

All that is, except for 2, Hermione and Harry were currently whipping the asses of the remaining three deatheaters. True they were the three best fighters, but they had nothing on the 19 year olds from the future.

The crowd looked on in amazement as they duelled with immense skill against their opponents. Even though they were outnumbered, they seemed never to turn their back on an enemy, they were ridiculously quick.

"James?"

He answered without once looking away from the duel, "Yeah Paddy?"

"How did I ever think they were deatheaters?" he sounded almost sad, that he could ever have doubted people who could move like that.

"Don't worry mate," answered Remus. "We all did."

They fell silent to watch with full attention the spectacle before them.

When it was over, a little too soon many people thought, they pair stumbled unsteadily over to the rest of the people. Harry was bleeding from the lip and had a black eye and was walking slowly as though he had broken ribs. Hermione didn't look much better, she had a long cut on her face and a rapidly purpling bruise on her arm.

"Is everyone alright here?" asked Harry worriedly.

"Yes," answered Dumbledore. "I have accounted for everyone and there have been no fatalities, not even one serious injury."

"That's great," said Hermione with a small smile.

"But I think the more important question is are you two alright?"

"Oh we're fine," said Harry reassuringly. "We're been much worse."

"I have no doubt you have!" laughed Dumbledore, "But enough talk! You and many of the students have a date with Mdm. Pomphrey."

The crowd slowly dispersed but 6 people remained behind.

"Lily are you OK?" asked Hermione gently

She nodded her head shakily.

"Let me guess, this was your first battle?"

She nodded again.

Hermione scooped her up into her arms and Lily buried her head into Hermione's shoulder.

Harry looked at two of the most important women in his life and sighed. He rubbed his brow tiredly then looked at the Marauders.

"And you? Are you all OK?"

They nodded, and Harry noticed happily that they didn't seem so scared anymore, just a little shaken up.

"Come on," he said suddenly. "All of you. We're going to the hospital wing."

They all got up and walked out of the hall. Harry left shortly afterwards closing the door behind him.

And he had a very corny feeling that everything was going to be just fine.

that last line was lame, but i couldn't think of anything better, if you can, please tell me so i can change it.

REVIEW!


	11. Fitness Evaluation

**God I'm good, just look at all the crap I wrote for you people.**

**neferseba: I promise I won't. besides if I ever did, ive decided that id palm it off onto some poor unsuspecting person so they could write it for me. he he he**

**MaMoray: this is so not the end. I swear**

**Ray-ray: whats wrong with tantrums?  I chucked one today because mums getting my cousin to come and babysit. I DO NOT NEED A BABYSITTER! pout**

**Raymond: you cheeky devil. wink I hope you had fun, i know I do. **

**Greeneyed-Elfin-Girl: you know the only reason that happens is because im lazy. Lol thanks for the advice ill work on it**

**Gohan'slittlebro47: hey will**

**Brona: thanks babe**

**The Oracle Fox: definitely not the end. I have a feeling ive already told you this…**

**x-marauder girl-x: thanks a lot. That sounded mean but it wasn't meant to be I am really appreciative (now that's a stupid word) of your review. I have so say it was the nicest one in quite a while  hint hint to everyone else**

**charmfan: thanks for the review. Much love**

**pandabears05: I know, but hey maybe one day ill go back and change it, then again, maybe not**

**Amarthiel: I know its really hard to think of something good. Keep trying I NEED something better!**

**Pure Ravenclaw: hey again **

**froggygrl101: thank you, that means a lot to me**

**jka1: thanks a lot, although I have to ask, what does your name mean?**

**Slytherin-Angel44: so enthusiastic! Thanks love**

**wishesanddreams: I almost did, just to see what ppl would say, but then I decided im too nice!**

**Chosha Kurenai: thanks, and talking to yourself in a review isn't all bad… shifty eyes**

**Well now that I wasted time doing that, I probably should get into the story. BUT I DON'T WANT TO waaaaaaaaahhhh. I saw take the lead today. Really good, you should all see it. Ok stop stalling now. And start writing…now! I definitely should write down some sort of a plan for this story. Or better yet, start drafting. Making it up off the top of my head probably isn't going to work anymore…

* * *

**

"OK fatties get up!"

General murmuring and groaning came from the rest of the class.

Harry tsked and shook his head.

This time shrieks and oaths came from the class as they found themselves magically lifted out of their seats.

"Why are you all so tired?" Hermione asked from where she was perched on Harry's desk.

"Quidditch," mumbled someone in the front.

"Too much partying," muttred a Ravenclaw. "Too much partying."

"Ooooooh," said Hermione as comprehension dawned.

Harry was bouncing on the balls of his feet and looked much too happy to be allowed. Many people gave up supporting their own weight and collapsed back into chairs.

"Oh come on!" exclaimed Harry. "This is going to be the best lesson ever, and you're all hung over?"

General assent from the class met this question.

Harry sighed and pulled out his wand. "The only useful thing I ever learned from Ronald Weasly, was that you don't get drunk unless you know this spell."

He waved his wand and people stopped moaning and groaning. Others removed dark glasses and hats.

Harry still stood in front of the class grinning like a madman.

Hermione shook her head and jumped off his desk to address the class, "If any of you had bothered to consult the overview for this year you would see that it is now Janurary (ok so we skipped Christmas) and that means that we are starting a new topic!"

The groans that had stopped after the hangover cure spell started up again.

"Oh come on you big babies! Its going to be fun!" Harry was practically bursting with excitement.

"Come on!" Hermione ordered. "Everyone up, we're moving classrooms!"

This latest revelation got most people's attention and they followed a literally skipping Harry down the corridor. He made so many twists and turns that everyone was thoroughly disorientated by the time they stopped outside a blank stretch of wall.

"Oh I love what you've done with the place!" exclaimed James sarcastically.

"Shut up Potter," sang Harry, yes SANG!

Hermione took control of the situation seeing as how her boyfriend had been rendered incapable sheerly by his excitement. She paced infront of the wall three times with her face screwed up in concentration. The students began to think that she had gone as loopy as Prof. Potter, but they Sirius spoke up.

"Shit!"

"Thanks Sirius," laughed Hermione as she pushed open the door and stepped inside.

Everyone jostled and pushed to try to see into the room, but no one dared follow her inside.

Hermione shook her head. The 7th years sure were in a weird mood today. She reached through the doorway and grabbed the nearest person by the robes and pulled them inside. People cautiously began entering and settled on the large poofs scattered on the floor. They were a bit like Trelawney's, but much MUCH cooler.

"What is this place?" Anna Nial breathed in awe. (any body read the Wicca/Sweep series?)

"Never you mind," said Hermione happily, but still with an underlying threat.

"So did _anybody_ read the plan?" asked Harry, who had calmed down slightly.

"ummm…"

"Well let my remind you! Today we're starting fitness training for when we do duelling?" Harry explained.

This encouraged a fair amount of interest.

"So the first thing we're doing is…" the class waited with baited breath. "Fitness evaluations! How close you are to having the perfect body!" the class groaned.

"I'm sure there are," Hermione around at the class. "…a…few? fit people?"

"Come on people! Come on!" Harry clapped his hands in a very gayesque way. "This may be a double, but it's our only double and we've done nothing! I want the boys on the left of this screen that I just conjured right now!" he looked very smug as he waved his wand and a semi-transparent screen descended in the middle of the room. "And girls on the right with 'Mione!"

"And everyone get your gear off!"

"Hermione! You cant be serious!" exclaimed Lily.

"I hope she is!" James teased while waggling his eyebrows.

"Ew ew ew ew ew. You're a sick unit Potter!"

Seeing James about to retaliate Hermione stepped in, "No don't take off all your clothes Lils. Just strip down to your knickers and put these on." She conjured a pile of pink crop tops and black bike pants (mmm… lycra) for the girls and short running shorts for the boys.

James pouted.

The two groups went their separate ways.

* * *

On the girl's side there was a lot of giggling and bra snapping (ok so that's just what me and my friends do) while they took about 10 minutes longer than the boys.

Suddenly Rhea giggled and whispered something in Emily's ear, and being twins, wherever Emily was Jess was as well. The three of them looked in Lily's direction and started giggling again. Standing there in all her glory wearing a bra and bike pants, Lily huffed, put her hands on her hips and fixed her best friends with her best death stare. They laughed harder and beckoned her over. Lily bent in to hear what they were whispering about. Her face changed from stern to humoured and a little alarmed before she faced the curtain and yelled out,

"STOP TRYING TO SEE THROUGH THE SCREEN JAMES POTTER!"

Everyone laughed.

"Told you so Prongsie," teased Sirius poking his best friend in the side.

"Shut up," sulked James.

Seeing as how the boys had been dressed and ready for about 15 minutes by now Harry called through the curtain to Hermione, "Hey babe, do we still have to wait for you?"

"No," she called back. "Go ahead."

* * *

"OK gents," Harry instructed. "Make a line infront of me, this is your physical examination. Im going to be seeing what parts of your body are up to par, and what you could improve on. Then using this, im gonna work out a diet and exercise plan. So what are you waiting for?"

The boys jostled and pushed to get to the front of the line. All the while bragging about their physique and flexing the muscles.

"I'm sure I'll have nothing to improve on!" Sirius called just a little too loudly to be natural. That coupled with the fact that he was facing the screen and not the people he was talking to…

Their female counterparts giggled before they heard their other professor's voice sound out, "OK ladies…"

First in line was Sirius, he had boasted and pushed his way in front of everyone else and was currently standing before Harry wearing a smug expression.

"Well to start with your stomach isn't nearly as toned as it could be," Harry said inspecting Sirius's abs closely. "I see flab."

Sirius's puffed out chest fell a bit as everyone laughed, even the girls who had heard the whole thing.

While Harry was speaking a dicta-quill was writing down his every word. He looked at arm size and definition, necks, chests, shoulders, back, stomach, if he had been doing it correctly he would have done their asses, but he thought it would be weird evaluating his father's ass so he just left that bit out, thighs and finally calves. All up it only took about 1 minute and he decided that the problem with Sirius was that he had a very buff chest and shoulders but nothing else was of the same proportion. (that's just always how I pictured him when I read the books, with a big broad chest. Then I saw the movie…)

Next up was his father, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Hmmm," said Harry. "Torso, could be a bit bigger, nice back muscle definition, legs are a bit weedy." It seems that James was of the same build as Harry, which meant that he could easily bulk up.

A few Ravenclaws had muscled in infront of Remus and Peter, who weren't as outgoing as Sirius and James.

"You're arms are like sticks! We need to bulk up."

"We can get rid of this puppy fat easily, don't worry about it. Then…I think we'll work on overall tone and definition"

"Man your feet are big! Let's get some muscles to match those big boy!"

"Ahhh, Remus. Too thin, much too thin. Don't worry just means lots of weights for you. A bit to scrawny for my liking, you could put a bit of weight on."

"Hello Peter," Harry greeted cordially. "Looks like someone's got a bit of a gut. Gotta get rid of that. And…more arm muscle I think. The legs are sturdy enough."

He continued on with the rest of the class in that manner.

"Bulk up your arms I think."

"A little pudgy, running and dieting for you, other than that, you're fine."

"Weak leg muscles, we need more muscle."

"Man you're tight! We've gotta work on flexibility."

"Nice abs, but you can't just do crunches, you've gotta build your pecs up at the same time."

"Ah, lucky last Snape. Much too weedy. You've gotta get some more muscle…everywhere."

* * *

Over on the other side of the curtain the girls had finally started.

"Do we have any volunteers for going first?" asked Prof. Granger.

There was a small pause before Rhea, ever the outgoing one raised her hand.

Hermione gave a small explanation while she looked over Rhea, "What I'm looking for is pretty much what I like to call, "The Bikini Body." We want a flat stomach, nice toned, slender arms, toned legs with not a scrap of fat one them ladies! OK Rhea, step right up honey."

The pretty girl stepped up a little cautiously.

Hermione also had a dicta-quill on hand to take down her notes.

"OK Miss. Rhea. Nice flat stomach, but it can still get flatter, there's not enough muscle to support it here. Arms are good, I suppose that's from quidditch but the legs don't have enough definition. Next!"

Lily decided to be brave and offer herself up.

"Alrighty. Stomach is great, don't know what you did to get that, but legs and arms could be better."

Jess stepped up next, "Stomach isn't too great."

Then her twin had her turn, "Exactly the same, just gotta get rid of that teeny bit of puppy fat and build some muscles."

She continued on with the remaining 8 girls.

"Arms are a bit weak, gotta build some muscle."

"Just gotta get rid of that excess fat, I know you can do it," she said kindly to a rather large girl in Hufflepuff.

"You're bottom heavy, we'll tone up those legs."

"Nice definition, but you're too tight. We can stretch those out thogh."

"Nice legs, but we've got to shed a bit off the top."

"Build up those arm muscles, and you'll be fine."

"You're on a diet and then it'll be right."

"Lucky last. Ok tone those legs up and build a little muscle in your arms."

"Alright, listen up!" Harry yelled to the whole group. "Class is almost over please get back into your uniforms but keep the clothes you had on. Please bring them to every class from now until the end of the year. If you want to come in this that would be fine, but don't walk around the castle in it!" a few people snickered. "I doubt some of the other professors would appreciate it."

There was a general commotion as everyone ran around trying to find their clothes and put them back on.

"Are you ladies ready yet?" yelled Harry 5 minutes later.

"Just a minute!" Hermione screamed back.

* * *

5 minutes later

* * *

"Are you ready YET?"

"Just give us a few more seconds."

"Women," Harry muttered under his breath. The boys all chuckled.

"I heard that Potter!" yelled Hermione.

"What!" yelled James, thoroughly confused.

"Not you!" shouted Hermione. "The other Potter!"

"Ooooooooooooooh," said everyone.

By this time the girls were ready, so Hermione magicked away the screen.

The boys looked at the crowd of girls, hoping so see one that was still undressed.

Seeing this the girls just sighed and/or shook their heads.

"Class isn't quite over, but it isn't quite worth starting anything else so what do you want to do?" asked Harry.

"Well…" started Remus. Harry nodded encouragingly. "You were talking about the 'perfect body.' What is that exactly?"

"Well," said Hermione. "It's the ideal body for duelling, muggle fighting, stealth work as well as a whole other bunch of stuff."

"So what does the perfect body look like?" sneered Snape from the back corner.

Harry looked smug and Hermione was grinning like a Cheshire cat. At exactly the same time they both pointed at each other and looked even more pleased with themselves.

Some people in the class laughed at their teacher's cluelessness.

Harry nodded happily and turned to look at his girlfriend just as she did the same thing. They both jumped with surprise when they noticed eachother and lowered their fingers.

The class laughed at their two teachers.

"It's true though, Harry has the ideal warrior's body. Ok get your clothes off."

"Baby, I know you want me, but in front of the children?"

"Oh ha ha," Hermione said sarcastically "They had to strip off, so I think you should return the favour." She didn't give him any time to argue, just pointed her wand at him, and without saying anything he was suddenly standing there with only tiny TINY shorts covering his lower half. Most of the girls in the class nearly fainted at the sight of his damn fine body.

He screamed and rectified the situation with his wand, which upset most of the girls greatly.

"Thanks, _honey_," he remarked stressing the last word greatly.

"That's ok!" she replied happily. "So here we have the perfect specimen. Pecs are defined, and shoulders with visible muscle separation. Arms have bulky deltoid and long, taught biceps and triceps. Then we have the abs, a nice flat six-pack," she ran her hand seductively over his stomach and the class watched in fascination as they twitched beneath her touch. "Then we come to the legs, sturdy, but not bulky, good for running. Turn around Harry," she commanded. "Again the deltoid is apparent, and the levator scapulae, or the muscle from the neck, should be strong. Last thing I can think of is the bum," she said slapping him on the ass. "Nice and tight."

"If that's all?"

"Yes it is," said Hermione smirking.

"Then it's your turn my dear," said Harry happily. With a wave of his wand her robes disappeared and replaced by a sports bra that showed off her chest nicely, and short tight bike pants.

"Oh no, too far!" she went to change her outfit but found that she couldn't. she tried again, but no luck.

"Come ON Harry," she pleaded.

"Nope, not doing nothing," he said happily.

Hermione crossed her arms and slouched while she sulked.

"Stand up nice and straight dear," Harry teased.

She complied and he began the talk.

"The first thing are the arms. A woman's arms should never be bulky – "

"Why?" someone interrupted.

"Because it looks gross," said Harry, while the class laughed. "They should be long and slender, but still strong," he ran a finger down the inside of her arm and smiled ever broader when she shivered. "The chest _should _be small, but I really cant see the good in that," the boys laughed while Hermione pouted. "Then there's the stomach, toned, but not defined, and definitely flat. Legs should be shapely and strong. Turn around honey. They female's back isn't as important as the males, but should still be fit. And the ass, is very important. Nice and tight. Isn't that right darling?" he asked while resting his hand on her behind.

There was a lot of wolf whistling and cries of sexual innuendo from the class. Hermione turned around and Harry put her back in her normal robes.

The bell rang about 30 seconds later.

"Well timed guys, we'll see you all next week. Meet in the normal classroom and bring your new clothes."

They all scrummed to get to the door and lunch while their professors strolled leisurely behind them.

* * *

**YES! I did it. Success. So I thought I'd tell you about my nails. They are so cool. Ok so I painted them black and they have a light bright blue dot in the middle. OK so it's a bit emo, but it looks sexy so whatever.**

**in sing song voice :If you don't review, I wont write more!**

**xoxo**


	12. Gymnasium

Geez it's been a while huh? So sorry about that. Well I want to get started on the story, but I always write my AN first (tradition) so I'll keep it brief.

Firstly I updated my homepage thing so you might? wanna check that out.

Another thing is that the only reason I'm writing is because my entire neighbourhood has afl fever so I'm stuck alone. And its holidays so I have nothing better to do. Funny how it works out like that. shakes fist at gods

And lastly my toe REALLY hurts because I stubbed it.

So be good and review or I'll kill you. Haha just kidding…

* * *

"What the bloody hell is this meant to be?"

The rest of the 7th years at the Gryffindor table had had similar reactions when they saw their breakfast the next morning too. And looking around the hall at the other tables it was fair to say that they weren't the only ones.

"Breakfast I suppose," answered Remus lifting a spoonful out of his bowl and letting it fall unceremoniously back into it.

"There is no way in hell I'm eating that," said Sirius loudly. "Give me the bacon!"

"Uh uh uh," came Harry's voice as he snatched the bacon away from his hand. "I don't think so. How are you meant to get a toned stomach if you eat bacon for breakfast?"

"But. But but but," stammered Sirius looking longingly at the bacon.

"Oh. And what a pity," teased Harry as he popped a piece into his mouth and chewed it slowly. "It's soooo good."

Sirius and the rest of the 7th years at the Gryffindor table looked on jealously.

"How come you get to eat bacon and we get … what is this crap?" asked Rhea, joining the conversation.

"In answer to your first question, because I don't need to tone up, OR lose weight OR gain muscle so I can eat," he put another piece of crispy bacon into his mouth as his students drooled. "Whatever. I. Want." He laughed, rather meanly and patted James and Sirius on their heads. "Cheer up gentlemen. It's only until the rest of the year."

"THE REST OF THE YEAR?" came the startled response of every seventh year at the table who had apparently been eavesdropping.

"Yes! Which leads me to your second question. What is this awful stuff."

"You know it's awful," demanded Emily. "And yet you make us eat it?"

Harry nodded cheerfully again. "I had to survive on this for longer than you will have to, so I don't want to hear any more complaints."

Everyone scoffed unbelievingly but Harry ignored them and went on.

"It's high carb gruel, for lots of energy. High protein for muscle development. Low fat, for well, low fat. And it has all the vitamins and minerals you could ever need."

"No, I think you'll find its missing something," quipped Jess.

Harry just raised an eyebrow.

"Taste! Hello taste, where are you?"

Everyone, including Harry laughed. "Unfortunately, for you. Taste isn't a nutrient."

"It should be," Jess grumbled.

"The real reason I came over here, apart from making sure that you were actually eating it, and not heading for the bacon," he glared pointedly at Sirius. "Is to give you your new diet and exercise plans!" His voice had regained its earlier enthusiasm.

He handed them round to the wary Gryffindors and waited as they read them.

"Oh phew!" said a relieved Sirius. "I only have to eat this rubbish for breakfast!"

"That's right!" said Harry. "The idea is that this will fill you up in the morning and provide you with all the energy you'll need for the day to prevent you eating less…beneficial foods!"

Most people were only vaguely listening. Too overjoyed to find that this was only for breakfast.

"So if you'll just look at my timetable I want to point something out to you," instructed Harry.

They tore their collective gazes away from breakfast time to look at where Harry's finger was directing.

"Because of the high practical component of the rest of the years' studies, the DADA classroom will be changing around a lot. So along with all the information about your diet and exercise regime, this timetable also indicates any room changes. Watch this."

Harry pulled out his wand and tapped it on Tuesday's lesson saying, "Meet at Hagrid's Hut" The square immediately changed venue to the one he had mentioned.

"Now look at yours."

Everyone looked at their own timetables where the words 'DADA Classroom' were slowly changing to say 'Meet at Hagrid's Hut.'

Peter summed it up in one word, "Cool."

Harry laughed, "It is hay? 'Mione rigged it up. Just make sure to keep an eye out for any room changes, and I'll see you all this afternoon," he consulted his own timetable. "At the DADA classroom."

With one last smile he strode away to the Slytherin table, presumably with the same message.

"Well Marauders. We'd better get used to this," said Remus bravely, lifting his spoon to his lips.

The rest of the 7th years followed suit.

"On the count of three," instructed Lily. "One…Two…Three!"

They all took a mouthful of the foul grey looking mush and immediately found it was nowhere as bad as they had predicted. It was by no means unenjoyable, but at the same time, not a delicacy either.

James looked round the table and found Sirius had already eaten half the bowl, Rhea was contemplatively studying her second spoonful and everyone else taking slow steady spoonfuls. Everyone except Lily.

"Hey Lils you wearing your DADA gear right now?"

Lily scowled and huffed before taking a spoonful of her mush and flinging it perfectly into James' hair.

"Whoops."

* * *

"Ok you know the deal same as yesterday. Go and get your stuff on," instructed Harry.

"Although you will find that it's changed a little because it's going to serve a different purpose today."

'A little' was a lot of an understatement.

For the girls the midriff crop top had become a running singlet with reasonable length sport shorts.

The boys now had basketball style singlets to wear with their running shorts.

The clothes were put on their appropriate owners, and the screen was removed, and currently most the boys in the class were peering at the girls only to be sadly disappointed at the change in outfit.

"Professors!" yelled James in a strangled voice. "What did you do?" The other boys in the class nodded or voiced their agreement...along with some of the girls

Harry and Hermione laughed, "Because today the idea isn't to see as much of you as possible without breaking the law," more laughter. "It's to help each person individually start their fitness regime, and these are the best exercise clothes."

James was still looking scandalised, but the lesson continued regardless.

"As you can see the room we used yesterday is no longer here," everyone looked around and found this to be the truth. Were there was once poufs and simple decorations, there were now a whole range of strange looking instruments.

"The room has been redecorated to look like a muggle gymnasium, or gym for short."

"So if your timetables ever displays the word 'gym' that means come here for fitness training."

"Why on earth would we be using _muggle _equipment?" sneered a darkhaired Slytherin from the back of the crowd.

"Because it's the best," responded Harry simply.

That shut everyone up.

"Now in today's lesson, the aim is to get everyone familiar with the equipment they are going to be using to get hot bods," explained Harry.

"If you look on your timetables," continued Hermione. "You will see that there is a whole range of exercise activities that have been assigned to you."

"So what are you waiting for?" cried Harry. "Go and try them out! Just remember that you aren't the only one using that machine so try it for five minutes or so, then go to something else on your timetable."

"Most of the machines are pretty self-explanatory, but if you don't get it, that's what we're here for!"

The class scattered, each eager to try out the machines.

Those who needed more stomach definition were doing crunches and such (help me! I don't go to the gym. In your review if you know of _any_ machines PLEASE tell me)

The girls who needed stronger arm muscles were lifting petite dumbbells.

Lots of people were on treadmills and lifting weights.

No one seemed to be having any particular troubles so Harry and Hermione were content to roam around for the remainder of the lesson, reminding those that were getting attached to one particular machine that it was time to let go. (Sirius had to be dragged off the Ab Cruncher 3000)

When the bell rang, the whole class was so engrossed in their tasks that they didn't seem to hear it.

The two Professors did though.

"Guys! Guys!" yelled Harry, but they didn't seem to hear. "STOP!" That got their attention. "This lesson has gone over time. Grab your clothes and go and have the quickest shower of your life. All the stuff you need will be in there," he explained pointing to a door that had just appeared.

Ever the practical one 'Mione said, "We'll write you all late passes so you don't get in trouble. Now run!"

There was a mad scramble for the door, but once they got inside they found that there were plenty of showers.

* * *

"That was a good lesson Harry," complimented Hermione as soon as the last person had exited the Room of Requirements.

They both flopped down onto a couch that had appeared.

"What class have we got next?" asked his girlfriend.

"Nothing," Harry replied seductively. "We've got a spare."

Hermione raised her eyebrows.

Harry locked the door.

* * *

you know you love me! and that's why you're going to review hey?

if you do next update i'll write you name up the top with a special message just for you! yes this is bribery

love b


	13. Aerobics

Oh you lazy bastards. I go to all the trouble of updating, just for you! But 35 people read it, and not one, not one person has reviewed so far. I don't care about the damn time difference, or the fact that I haven't updated in months. I am so upset I am going to have to update again. And you had better review this one!

Don't think my death threats are empty! Xoxo

"Muahahahahahahahahaha!" Harry was standing in front of Hogwarts Castle laughing his head off.

"Harry dear, with all the trouble in your 5th year you would have realised by now that people think you're crazy enough already without you laughing like a genius." Admonished Hermione.

"Ahh," he cleared his throat. "Quite right my dear."

She just shook her heads at his mood swings. He never said anything but she could tell just how much fun he was having being around his parents.

"James!" he yelled at the black haired boy who had slowed his steady jog to a walk. (Their mean DADA professors were making them run around the castle as a warm up for their double lesson today)

"But professor!" he whined back. "I'm on the other side of the castle! How can you see me?"

"Muahahahahaha!" he cackled again. "I SEE ALL!"

"Oh god," muttered Hermione.

Once the students were nice and sweaty, Harry and Hermione announced that it was time to start the lesson.

"A lot of you have been coming to us, wanting to know what the image of the woman standing spread-eagle (jeez that sounds suss) on your timetable means." Announced Hermione.

There was general murmurs of ascension from the class.

"Wellllll," continued Hermione slowly "It's the muggle practice of aerobics."

Most of the guys scratched their heads and said "Huh?"

But surprisingly quite a few of the girls knew what it was.

"Your spanky running clothes were fabulous for running," said Harry. Hermione face palmed. She should never have let him have that coffee. "But now we need something a little more, close fitting."

With little more than a wave of his wand the clothes of the pupils were changed…horribly.

The girls found themselves in crop tops reminiscent of that first fitness lesson, though this time coupled with three quarter bike pants and running shoes.

The men, if possible, faired worse. For some reason Harry had decided that the most appropriate aerobics clothing for the gentlemen, was knee-length bike pants with a leotard over the top.

After they had realised what they were wearing, there were many horrified screams from the guys and much laughter and sexual innuendo from the girls.

Hermione was a little freaked at her boyfriends behaviour this morning, and was swearing to herself that she would never let him have coffee again.

And as for Harry himself, he had resumed his cackling.

Dont cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me  
Dont cha, dont cha  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was raw like me  
Dont cha wish your girlfriend was fun like me  
Dont cha, dont cha

"And bend, and reach, and other side and bend and reach…" Hermione instructed from the front of the class as the stunned and horrified 7th years performed a series of streches and gyrations to the sound of Don't Cha by the Pussycat Dolls. (did you know that if was the pussycat dolls that did that scene in Charlie's Angels 2?)

See, I know she loves you (I know she loves you)  
I understand (I understand)  
I'd probably be just as crazy about you  
If you were my own man  
Maybe next lifetime (maybe next lifetime)   
Possibly (possibly)  
Until then, Oh friend your secret is safe with me

With incredibly red faces the 7th years followed their teacher's movements.

They did know a hell of a lot about aerobics, but the outfits, especially for the boys were the main source of the humiliation.

As the last cords of the song died from the CD player the 7th years looked to their DADA teachers for reassurance that they would never have to do that again.

Lily met Hermione's eye and she nodded in understanding. Before anyone knew what was going on Harry had collapsed to the ground unconscious.

"I'm sorry about him," apologised 'Mione, putting away her wand. "He gets a bit funny when he has coffee. Let's see what we can do about this."

She waved her wand and the boy's outfits magically rectified themselves. They all sighed in relief.

"Let's try that again," they all looked appalled. "Without him," she laughed.

They followed their DADA teacher's lead to the beats of Madonna, Sean Paul and Britney Spears and a whole other bunch of people they had never heard of, until the bell rang and they literally ran away.

At lunch however, aerobics made it's magnificent return.

Seemingly of their own accord the entire Slytherin table got to their feet and started to perform a rather complex and certainly embarrassing aerobics routine.

Two special people seemed to bear the brunt of the perpetrators attack. Snape was out the front leading his house…dressed in his leotard. While the head of Slytherin house, Professor Walsall was singing, horribly, 'hit me baby one more time' by Britney Spears.

…I must confess I still believe (still believe)  
When Im not with you I lose my mind  
Give me a sign, hit me baby one more time!

Oh baby baby, the reason I breathe is you  
Boy youve got me blinded  
Oh pretty baby, theres nothin that I wouldnt do  
Thats not the way I planned it

Show me how you want it to be  
Tell me baby cuz I need to know now, oh because

Chorus

Oh baby baby, how was I supposed to know  
Oh pretty baby, I shouldnt have let you go  
I must confess that my loneliness  
Is killin me now  
Dont you know I still believe  
That you will be here  
And give me a sign, hit me baby one more time

Chorus

I must confess (my loneliness) that my loneliness  
(is killing me) is killing me now  
(I must confess) dont you (I still believe) know I still believe  
That you will be here (I lose my mind)  
And give me a sign...  
Hit me baby one more time!

This was largely fluff that I am not particularly proud of, but I was bored. If anyone has the unexplicable desire to rewrite this for me, I would be eternally grateful.

xoxo b


	14. 7 Mondays Later

amrawo – thanks so much for your support

Save-A-Broom-Ride-A-Chaser – love the name. Haha. I'm on holidays at the moment so I'm going to be updating more frequently (I hope) so keep following the story.

SwiftShadow – glad you liked him. I was bored, but some people liked him like you, and some hated him so I'm not sure if he'll make a reappearance.

Laura – thanks for the reviews. 3 was it? Anyway I'll start from the 1st one. Thank you for finally deeming me worthy, you have a lovely reviewing style. Lol. And yes it is soooooo annoying when you get the northerners going 'oh yeah and its January and its snowing.' And I'm sitting here in like 35 degree heat melting and wanting to hit the computer. Hehe. South Africa that's pretty awesome. So you read wicca? I loved them. Me and my friends went through this whole obsessive stage where I could tell you the name of every single book, describe the cover art in great detail and answer any trivia question on any of the books. I discovered FanFiction on a Wicca site, but im really disappointed at the lack of wicca authors. Oh well. what can you do. Now to the last review, if everyone else wants a comment like this in the next chapter they can send me 3 reviews in one day too. Yes I can see the email address, and what do you mean by "annoy you". Anyway keep reviewing, thanks heaps. Xoxo b

emeraldsgem – glad you liked it. It just sort of came to me and I started laughing at nothing like a complete maniac. Thank god there was no one home.

justahungariangirl – yeah I agree this chapter (13) was shit. I don't like it, but it feels destructive if I remove it so I'm just waiting for someone to re-write it for me (hint hint). Glad you liked the rest though

Fk306 animelover – thanks for the review, I'll try

Jadite – weeeeeeeeeellllllllllllll. He is Harry Potter, and he's an auror and truthfully I have no idea. So don't tell anyone. But just between you and me…he has x-ray vision.

Knucklehead McSpazatron – as is your name. Haha anyway thanks heaps

tyger cub – glad you liked it. GO AUS. Haha. Anyway I love aerobics so what the hell. Xoxo

Anastasia Mei – thanks for the review. I wouldn't say I was getting 'down' so much as murderous. Muahaha

Sareneththe6thbell – oh yay. Thank you someone who finally said they laughed. Ahah anyway glad you enjoyed it

sweet as lemonz – thanks for your review it was so awesome. I waited for like an hour and NO ONE reviewed, so that was what sparked my temper tantrum. Hehe. Anyway thanks again

Prongs'LilyFlower – glad you liked it. PFL? Haven't heard that b4. wait wait I got it. Damn I'm slow. Just disregard that. Xoxo

WJENKSREADER – glad you think so

Ebil – damn right the fear has been ingrained. And aren't you glad you reviewed now? You get to see your name in lights! Well close enough. Glad you think it was funny.

harry'n'mione4ever – I actually like healthy food. All except gruel. Eugh.

sweet as lemonz – yay you reviewed again. So you get your name twice. WHY DOESN"T EVERYONE DO THIS? Then you could all be as special as sweet as lemonz. Oh well your loss. Good connection with the corporeal? charm I like the way you think. Xoxo

Charlie Hayden – I know I can't wait either. The marauder snooping is kind of over, but if I find a good opportunity, maybe I'll put some in just for you. Keep reviewing.

* * *

Wow that was 1 whole page. Fabulous. Anyway sorry the last few chapters have been so short (and shitty), and while I think of it:

WILL! WHERE IS MY REVIEW? I'M GOING TO KILL YOU. I DON'T CARE HOW MANY BONES YOU'VE BROKEN YOU'RE NEVER ON MSN AND NOW YOU HAVEN'T READ THE REST OF MY STORY. Anyway love you lots. Xoxo b

Sorry bout that, anyway I spose I should get on with the story. No can't be bothered, so I'll tell you about the other kind of footy fever. The rugby finals are today and I don't even know who's playing, but my dad is having like 2o3u423739508 of his drunken friends over to watch the match on our new tv actually on out 2 new tvs. So as much as id probably love to update after 3pm today. I just can't because the computer is in the TV room. Damn. So don't expect anything after about 12ish. Oh god. And there is NO ONE my age. Its not fair. pout

* * *

The other houses were laughing hysterically, Dumbledore was nodding his head in time with the music, and surprisingly knew quite a few of the words. Prof. Walsall was still singing and the Slytherins lead by their housemate Snape were still dancing. One person was seemingly less than impressed by the display.

"James Potter and Sirius Black!" bellowed Professor McGonnogal from the Heads table.

She barrelled down to the Gryffindor table where the guilty parties sat laughing their heads off.

"Put them back RIGHT NOW!" she demanded.

"Professor," sniggered Sirius.

"It's wasn't us, honest!" choked out James before both boys collapsed back into hysterics.

McGonogall scoffed and grabbed each boy by his collar and dragged him out of the hall to the cheers and laughs of the rest of the school.

* * *

"2 months detention?"

"Yep Remmy, every Monday night for 2 months. Seems a bit harsh doesn't it?" said James.

"Don't call me Remmy!"

"Sure, Sure," teased Sirius.

The four Marauders were sprawled on James' bed in the 7th year dormitories, James and Sirius waiting to go to their detention, and Remus waiting for Sirius and James to go to their detention.

"8pm, this is it Jamesy boy. Time to go."

* * *

"Remind me never to piss of McGonogal again," complained a weary Sirius 1 hour later.

"Scrubbing the trophey room…the muggle way…for two hours."

"Everything hurts," moaned Sirius. "Even my hair hurts!"

"OH GOD!" exclaimed James suddenly.

"What?" asked Sirius, slightly alarmed.

"We've got another 7 Mondays to go!"

Both boys looked as though they were about to cry.

* * *

7 Mondays later

* * *

"OK class, we've almost finished this unit now."

"So what we're doing is a final fitness evaluation before we move on to actual duelling"

"You know the deal. Strip off and make a line."

"One line for boys and one for girls Mr. Potter!"

James pouted.

"OK James. You can go first then," laughed Harry. "And then maybe you can go and see your beloved Lily."

James perked up and looked at Harry hopefully.

"NO!" came the response from the other side of the curtain.

The whole class laughed.

"Settle down. Settle down," said Harry. "Make a line. We've only got a single today so we have to get this over and done with quickly."

The boys made a line and watched as Harry inspected his first victim…uh I mean student.

"Very good James. I can see that you've been following the plan well. here's your new timetable. It has much less exercise and much more food. Congratulations!"

"Did you hear that Lils?" James yelled through the curtain. "Very good!"

"Shut UP Potter!"

Harry continued down the line.

"Very nice as well Sirius. Here's your new timetable."

"Peter?" Harry said as he peered at the least significant Marauder. "Did you follow the diet and exercise plan?"

He shook his head, not meeting his Professors eye.

"Oh well. your loss."

Peter shuffled away and Sirius slapped him on the back encouragingly.

Next in line was a shy Hufflepuff boy. "John?" asked Harry incredulously. "Is that you?"

The boy nodded mutely.

"Oh my god! You look amazing!"

The once pudgy boy had slimmed down enormously and had newly formed muscles.

The rest of his classmates (except for the Slytherins) cheered as he blushed bright red.

The lesson continued similarly for the boys, each man with a new and improved body.

* * *

On the other side of the curtain, Hermione had chosen to deviate from the lesson plan slightly. It was easy to see that every single girl in the class had been following the plan to a T, so she had organized a mini fashion parade to show off their new bodies.

They were parading down the catwalk to some more 2000s music in little more than their underwear.

* * *

The boys had already finished and Harry was wondering what was keeping the girls. He peeked around the curtain then ran back to the boys, a finger to his lips.

He waved his hand at the curtain and suddenly it became transparent.

The boys watched with frank admiration as their hot classmates strutted their stuff on a catwalk that Prof. Granger had conjured. As the last note died the boys started to cheer and clap. The girls finally noticed the transparency of the curtain and many shrieked and tried to cover themselves.

Harry winked as Hermione stuck her tongue out at him, then solidified the curtain once more.

"Damn you look good Evans!"

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Yes I know that was shit there's no need to tell me. I have definitely lost my muse. The story has no direction and I think I am going to cry. If you have any suggestions PLEASE tell me.

And the next chapter (if I am feeling up to it) will be then FINALLY starting duelling. I don't know what form of duelling I want to write first so I'm starting a poll. Tell me your opinion when you review, which you will be of course. The options are as follows:

A: Muggle fist fighting (I don't know what to call it)

B: Wizard Fighting

C: Sword Fighting

D: Archery, Knife throwing, Staff fighting or something else really specific (please specify)

Please help me! I need help. I need suggestions…badly! REVIEW

Luv b


	15. Fight Me?

**Hey guys it's me again. pretty much the only thing i've got to say about this chapter is that I DID NOT WRITE IT. Gohan'slittlebro47 wrote it for me because he is a darling boy and i love him very much. anyway i'm sick (head cold) and im sick of this story (because it's shit)**

**btw. congrats to anyone who pointed out that there has been 0 plot in the last few chapters. that would largely be because there was no plot, so good work to those ppl. anyway after i post this i think i'm going to go back to lying down and feeling sorry for myself. Thanks Will you're the best**

* * *

"Who wants to fight me?"

Everyone quickly looked up quickly, not quite understanding what one of their favorite professors had just asked. They had just gotten into the gymnasium that Harry and Hermione had had made earlier in the year, and most of the people were still half asleep.

They had been forced to get up at the ungodly hour of half past five in the morning for the lesson. All them had been standing around quietly, attempting to retain consciousness, a few of them failing. The only people who seemed awake were the quidditch players, who were used to getting up early. Not that they were happy about it.

Harry looked at them, not quite glaring, but not far from it. He was dressed in a tight-fitting robe that had separated legs. He looked quite odd. "I said, who wants to fight me? Somebody volunteer, it's just a demonstration."

After a little silence, James nudged Sirius, who didn't budge. James nudged him again, harder, and this time Sirius stumbled. Harry grinned wickedly and motioned him over. "Glad someone has the guts. Come over here Mr. Black."

Sirius gulped, not liking anything about the way Harry was acting. He'd even called him by his last name. That hadn't happened since the marauders, including himself, had attempted to sneak into Harry's and Hermione's room in order to spy.

With a shaking hand Sirius took out his wand and got ready bow to Harry, before he noticed Harry shaking his head.

"Not like that," Harry said with a small chuckle. He tossed his own wand onto a small cushion off to the side, which no one had seemed to notice, and motioned for Sirius to do the same.

Sirius hesitantly threw his wand over, and jumped when a small shield burst into life around the two wands.

"Attack."

Sirius was getting more confused and scared by the second. His favorite teacher had gone mental. Violently mental. After a quick look at his friends, and seeing their expression's mirroring his thoughts, Sirius said, "Attack? With what?"

Harry rolled his eyes. Before Sirius could react, Harry had taken three quick steps forward, placed a hand on Sirius chest, stuck his knee behind Sirius's knee, and pushed.

Sirius started to fall down, but at the last second Harry's other hand had snapped out and caught his shirt, holding him up.

"You lose."

Sirius was looking up at him, eyes wide.

The doors to the gym burst open, and Hermione strode in. "Sorry I'm late guys, some third year tried to-" She cut off, looking questioningly at the terrified students and Harry holding Sirius up, who looked ready to wet himself.

Hermione sighed and walked up to Harry, took out her wand, and cast a cheering charm on Harry. He blinked, caught sight of Sirius in his hand, and started laughing hysterically.

"W-w-what??" Sirius stuttered.

"Harry, what did I say?" Hermione said, scoldingly.

Harry blushed and answered, "No tea before lessons…"

"What?" This time from a small Gryfindor near the back of the group of students.

"Remember the other day, when Harry had coffee and acted like he'd drunken an entire bottle of cheering potion spiked with fire whiskey?" The students nodded.

Harry laughed. "Tea does the exact opposite. Now, Sirius, I believe you have a little… problem with your pants?" Hermione caught sight of the dark stain, and shook her hand. Apparently Sirius had been ready to wet his pants.

The group of students roared with laughter, catcalls coming from the girls. "Leave it Sirius to break the ice!" yelled James.

Harry chuckled. "Okay, guys, settle down now." The students, if anything, laughed even harder, as Sirius's face was rapidly going through the colors of the rainbow. "C'mon guys, we've gotta get class started!"

When there was still no change, Harry motioned to Hermione, who smiled and took out her wand. "Silencio!"

The student's eyes widened, and a few of them grasped at their throats, unable to make any sound.

Hermione cast the counter spell and Harry started talking.

"Okay, now that we have your attention, I'd like to say why I did that little assault on Sirius, other than that I was temporarily insane, of course." The students chuckled halfheartedly.

"Well," Harry said, walking aimlessly through the students, as teachers tend to do, "we're starting our new course. However, before I get into that, let's have a little check up on what we've gone over so far, shall we?"

Hermione continued, "Basically, we'll go over the Progressive magic and physical fitness, just to make sure you're all doing at least as well as before."

"What about the Unforgivables?" asked James. All the other people jerked and looked at him with small amounts of hate and horror. Remus swiftly knocked James over the head with book he had been reading. Peter jumped and looked at Harry fearfully. James and Lily had been the only ones to throw of the Imperius Curse last time, and so had been the only ones to leave that particular class unembarrassed.

"There's not much point in that, James," responded Harry, laughing a little bit. "There hasn't really been enough time for any of your results to change."

Most of the students sighed in relief, and Harry was surprised to not hear Sirius mutter under his breath something about being able to throw the Imperius Curse this time, but then remembered his small… bladder problem. The drying charm Remus had cast on Sirius's pants hadn't done much to cover the smell.

"Do any of you need a reminder of what Progressive magic is, or how to do it?" The class shook their heads.

"Okay, good, I'd like you to attempt to make these roses bloom. Don't worry, they won't have any thorns, unless you make them have them."

Harry finished speaking and opened one of doors leading to a storage area. He pulled at a bag, and walked back to the group.

"I'd like each of you to take one of these roses and have them bloom. You have five minutes. Try not to finish early, I want to see how well you can time them. Oh, and before I forget, here, Sirius." With a quick wave of his wand, Sirius's pants were rid of the stench.

"I can't believe you wet your pants!" James was looking at Sirius, still on the verge of laughter.

"Yeah, well, you probably would have done the same. He moved so fast I barely saw him! We gotta find out who he really is." When he saw Remus's mouth open, eyes wide, he cut him off, "Not like last time! I mean, just see if he'll tell us. Like, later in the year, when we're better friends. Seriously, he scared the crap out of me, but it was awesome! I didn't even know that was possible!"

"I know!" said Peter. "That was amazing. Think what it would be like if we could that!"

"You'll find out soon, but first you better start on your roses, or Harry might decide to give you detention." Hermione had appeared behind them, smiling. "Something like, oh, I don't know, maybe cleaning up Moaning Myrtle's bathroom?"

She chuckled at the looks on their faces as they quickly got their roses and began the task of making them bloom.

Hermione walked back over to the girls, wondering where Harry had gone. Looking over at the students making their roses bloom, nobody seemed to be having to much trouble, but Lily barely seemed to be trying, and her rose was growing beautifully.

She stepped up next to Lily and said, "Well, you seem to be doing well. Have you been practicing, Lily?"

Lily smiled. "Yeah. I had some trouble last time, and I wanted to get better, so I asked Professor Vinesy for some unbloomed roses, and other plants. She brought me a ton from the green houses, so I've been able to practice a lot. I'm still having trouble making the Choking Vine grow without letting it get a hold of anything first…"

"I'm glad you're trying so hard! Keep this up, and you'll get an Outstanding in our class easy."

Lily smiled her thanks, and Hermione walked off to continue supervising.

At the end of the five minutes, Harry strode back in, carrying a small bag. Whatever was inside it made odd rattling sounds as he walked to the center of the gym, and called the students around him.

"Okay guys, let me see those roses." They made a line in front of him, and he took each one, and gave it a small inspection. "Hmm, Pattersin, I think next time you should concentrate on the rose, and not Raoul over there." The girl blushed and took back her rose, which seemed to have never seen a drop of water, and tried her hardest to not catch the eye of Raoul, who was smiling at her.

This continued on for about twenty minutes, and finally Harry stood up and clapped his hands. "Okay, now we're going to recheck your fitness. No, James, not the same way as the other times, this time with physical evaluations. Sorry you won't get to see Evans in her underwear again. You'll run a mile, and we'll record your time, do as many chin-ups as you can, have a small sprinting test, and a do as many full sit-ups as you can in a minute."

Hermione said, "After you all test, we'll give you a small bean to eat that'll make you lot less tired, and get your muscles to heal from the testing. Now, separate into groups of 8, and we'll start the testing. After we finish, we'll use the last twenty minutes of class to start our new unit and shower off."

The period went by quickly, with almost everybody excelling. Noticeably behind, however, was Peter, who obviously still hadn't made much of an effort to improve. Both Harry and Hermione mostly ignored this fact, not really caring about Peter. As far they were concerned, he deserved everything he got.

Finally everyone was done, and most of the students were lying down on the floor, exhausted.

"Hey Harry," said James, from his spot on the floor, "didn't you say something about a magical bean that heals us or something? Like, to make us less tired?"

Harry laughed. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Sorry. And it's not magical, just strong."

"Whatever, just toss some over here!"

Hermione and Harry opened up the rattling bag and pulled out handfuls of some kind of metallic green beans, and started handing them out, telling the students to try and swallow as much as possible without chewing, if they couldn't do it in one gulp.

All of the assembled students, even the Slytherin's, made surprised remarks after eating the beans.

Hermione just chuckled and said, "Yeah, these are pretty quick working beans. We found them in somewhere in the Great Dividing Range in Australia not long before we came here."

Once all of the students had been rejuvenated and were ready to go, Harry said, "Well, judging from the little demonstration I gave earlier with Sirius, does anybody have a guess what the new unit is?"

One of the muggle-born students raised her hand and said, "Martial arts?"

"Basically. However, we're having less rules than most of the muggle fighting forms, because all they really do is hold you back. It'll pretty much be a bit of most fighting forms, and freestyle. I take it you've taken some classes, Miranda?"

The girl who had answered before nodded timidly. Hermione smiled and said, "Good, did you learn any stances?" She nodded again. "Great, could you come up here and show us your favorite?"

Miranda walked up to the front, blushing a little from the attention, and crouched down. Hermione's eyebrow went up in surprise and said, "Good job. You must have had a qualified teacher; I don't usually see stances that good."

Hermione walked up to her and began pointing out little facts about it. "See here, her legs are a little more than shoulder-width apart, to give her better balance, and she's on the balls of her feet, making it easier to do some quick moves. Her feet are diagonally-facing making a ninety-degree angle, so she can't be forced to be pushed to either side. Her basically form a partially incomplete square, making it easy for her to strike in most directions, and hard for somebody to get a hit in."

Hermione asked Miranda to turn around, who did. "The weakest point is, though, the back. Because she's on the balls of her feet, and the way her feet are pointing, it's easy to push down from behind." To suit her words, Hermione gave Miranda a small push on the back, which made her lean forward rather far, before she managed to regain control and not fall down.

Then, from the one of the Slytherins towards the back, someone yelled out, "Do you seriously expect us to fight like muggles? It's way to degrading. I refuse!" There were murmurs of assent throughout the Slytherins, and Harry stepped forward.

"Who said that? Step forward, please." Lucius Malfoy walked to the front of the group, sneering again. "Mr. Malfoy, I would have thought you would have learned your lesson last time you tried to say what we are teaching isn't useful. So, you think that muggle fighting is beneath you?" Lucius nodded. "Well, that's odd. I've found it pretty useful. I once took down five death eaters at the same time without a wand using 'muggle' fighting, and Hermione's taken down seven."

"But fighting like a muggle is cheating!"

"I won't try to change your ideas on that, but you think they didn't cheat either? They were death eaters, of course they 'cheated'. However, the fact that I beat them in a different way than they were used to didn't change the fact that I did beat them."

Hermione stopped the pair from continuing by saying loudly, "That's all the time we have for today! Go shower and get to your next class."

Malfoy and the Slytherins walked off unhappily, and Harry and Hermione caught the marauder's and Lily's group before they could walk away.

"Hey guys," said Hermione, "are you free tonight?" After the unanimous yes, Harry continued for her, "Do you all want to go to Hogsmeade tonight? As teachers, we have the right to go off of school grounds anytime we want, and it won't be hard to get permission from Dumbledore to go. How about it?"

The group let out a rapid succession of replies ranging from, "Sure," from Rhea, to "SWEET!" from James.

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You know the drill you r and r (read and review)

and i r and r (rest and relax)


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